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Problem is that society has decided that sex without any actual intimacy is the default. No sense of mutual exploration with a healthy dose of care, love and wish to give pleasure to one's partner.

Remove the intimacy side, and we have selfish partners seeking the sexual version of extreme sports high. And as we know...biology is important here. The male of the species is stronger than the female....and as such the female gets the short straw and turned into a sex toy.

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