Why is it not a bigger scandal that straight men are invading online lesbian spaces?

What were once thriving lesbian communities have been destroyed by straight white men

This is not a lesbian.

Guest piece by Jodi Purtell, a lesbian living in the UK.

Last week I joined a Lesbian friendship and socialising group for women over 35 on Facebook. It’s been a while since I last bothered joining any Lesbian group, given the seemingly never-ending arguments and falling-outs regarding trans-inclusion. Indeed, up until a couple of years ago, I was the moderator for a local lesbian Facebook group and experienced a prolonged campaign of harassment for not allowing trans-identifying males to join.

Although the abuse I received was tough, what was harder was the eerie silence that eventually descended on the group. I think this was because many women were too afraid to speak up about this issue or became thoroughly fed-up with it being the only thing we talked about. Our groups used to be about whether we wanted to plan a walking holiday or meet for a pint and a game of pool....

I wanted to join this new group because I miss having lesbians to socialise with. As a younger woman, I was part of a very vibrant community. Lots of bars, social and political groups, sports teams, ample dating opportunities. It was something I completely took for granted.

Back to this new group, and a glance at the inclusion policy didn't bode well, given “all sexual orientations and genders” were apparently welcome. How could that even be the case in a group designed for lesbians? The group had 7000 members in it. The very first post I saw was from a man named ‘Julie’, a man in a mini skirt, with a pantomime wig and fake breasts, taking a photo of himself in the toilet.

‘Julie’. Not a woman

I decided to check out a few more profiles. In the first 50, there were 6 very similar-looking men – middle-aged, wearing wonky wigs, ghoulish make-up and bright pink nail varnish on huge sausage-finger hands. All these men were posing with simpering, weird, sexualised smiles.

Scrolling down the messages, I saw that there was very little engagement. A meme here and a ‘hi, how is everyone doing’, there. One of these men asked if anyone lived in his part of the world and if they would like to meet up. He didn’t get a single response from 7,000 members. No shit.

This is also not a lesbian

I realised very quickly that there was zero point in me being in the group. There was literally no chance I would be sharing any aspect of my life with these men lurking around, watching. And this is what happens when a lesbian group becomes trans-inclusive. Women who challenge it are often thrown out because other women feel sorry for these men. But of course, you won’t find any lesbian who is eager to include them in her social circle or romantic life. Inevitably the groups become shallow and pointless, and wither on the vine.

When I look at these men, I see porn-addiction and fetishism. These men have wanted to get into lesbian spaces for decades. Up until 10 years ago, we just laughed and said no. Now we don’t laugh anymore because trans activism and gender ideology has given these men a license to trash all our spaces, creating bitter division between women. These deep wounds, often intergenerational and class-based, aren’t healing any time soon.

Every now and then, I just feel there’s nothing else I can do, and the battle to save the integrity of the community has essentially been lost, but then I remember the message a young woman once sent me, saying she was too scared not to include trans women in her dating pool even though she didn’t want to date them, and a recent Reddit post where a lesbian stated she was unable to go through with penetration with her new girlfriend because she just didn't want to be penetrated by her girlfriend’s penis, and she felt really bad about it.

Ultimately this is why I can never quite let go. As a young lesbian, I fought for the freedom to be true to myself and my own heart and body and I want the same for those younger women.

Jodi Purtell.