'All those years ago' when I first took my tentatively nervous steps into this brutal gendershite wars arena, I realised that the phrase, 'Those who control the language, control the debate,' was absolutely right. And nothing has changed my mind since then. I felt even then that we should not take a single backward step in relinquishing accurate and scientific/biological language or terminology.
That said, it is now not a case of gender acolytes controlling the language - or attempting to - it has moved on to a not-so subtle but very insidious attempt to control others' emotions. Namely, their guilt - or their potential for future guilt based on genuine ignorance, especially when met with the blast of an aggressive argument which essentially and simply boils down to BE NICE... OR ELSE!
The phrase can now perhaps be reworded as, 'Those who influence others' guilt, control the debate'.
Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. I promise to put more jokes in the next one though... 😬
Years and years ago, when gays were just becoming public, I read about a fellow who told an acquaintance that he was gay. The acquaintance said, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I'll pray for you." It may be too late to treat trans people and their sympathizers as the mentally ill people they are, but maybe that territory can be recovered if we employ some of those techniques. To wit:
"I support my sister in her quest to be her authentic self" could be answered as a non sequitur, as follows:
"I'm so sorry you've had to endure having a transgender family member. You do understand, don't you, that only a person with a female body can be a woman and therefore a sister?"
Or: "It seems to me a person who is pretending to have changed genders is not being particularly authentic, since such a thing isn't possible."
Or a more direct approach: "The idea that a person can change genders has not been accepted by the general population, so perhaps you should refer to [name] as your brother."
Or an even more direct approach: "Sorry, I don't believe in that crap. You have a brother, not a sister. If you want to help your brother, encourage him to stop pretending to be something he isn't. That's called 'delusion'."
It may be too late to take this approach, but to the extent that anti-trans activists like us behave as if the entire set of trans ideas is just pure nonsense, the more quickly we will return society to a normal state.
(Isn't it interesting that we have to talk about this social issue as if it were a war, with territories being lost and/or recovered?)
====================
I have to backtrack a little on what I said above. I think it's too late for techniques like that to work. Instead, I think that we need to keep saying something that is obviously true: that transgenderism is a dangerous cult. It is based on false ideas about humanity, and it encourages its member to harm themselves in irreversible ways -- and that's why we are against it. So:
"I support my sister in her quest to be her authentic self." The best answer is: "My opinion is that transgenderism is a cult which harms people." And then you can give your reasons if a discussion ensues. A reporter, however, couldn't use that language. A reporter answering a public figure would have to say something like, "Public opinion seems to be turning against the idea that trans people are a legitimate minority. Indeed, many people are now calling it a cult." Et cetera, et cetera.
One thing I've noticed about Donald Trump and other con men and political liars is that they glom onto a few good "talking points" and stick with them. As anti-transgender activists, we need to do that too. That will work for one simple reason: Transgenderism IS a cult, with all of the elements and dangers of a cult! Trans ideas mislead people, and they harm people, and they confuse and brain-wash people.
Let me close by saying that "cult" is a VERY powerful word. Once we brand transgenderism as a cult, that idea will be stuck in the public's mind.
[I just want to add that I'm not the first person to realize that transgenderism is a cult. That's not original with me. Others have been saying it for a while. The one drawback of calling it a cult is that cults are usually centered around charismatic leaders, and transgenderism doesn't seem to have a central figure. I guess the "leader" part of it isn't necessary, though.]
I love these suggested responses. You're right that it would have normalised speaking the truth had we responded like this from the start. Sadly the militant fetishists and their enablers went hard and fast. But it's not too late to start now. Ideally with the polite option to get people on side. As much as I'd like to shout "you deluded fool are you mental" I don't think it will do anything to get people on board. Never go along with any delusion. Never stop correcting people.
And it would be true. I see trans people as drag queens who are so obsessed with the idea that they must be female all day long, and they must pretend that their cosmetic surgery somehow makes them real women. It's a more committed level of pretending.
Indeed, trans women don't always go in for the medicalization, so what they are really is drag queens who wear the drag all the time.
And while I'm mentioning "pretending", that's exactly what I think they are doing. They go from being normal males doing more-or-less normal things, to being actors who are always on stage. And they aren't just acting for other people; they are performing for themselves for their own gratification.
I was acquainted with the poet Daniel Goetsch (via reputation only) before he became Diana Goetsch. Now, in all his photos he looks like he's posing. He was an older man when he "transitioned" so he probably has autogynephilia. I have this image of him now doing normal household things when he is alone, and continually asking himself, "Am I doing it the way a woman would do it?" Talking about Goetsch probably isn't fair because I don't really know him, but I do think that a lot of trans women see themselves as actresses more than anything else.
"Lived experience?" What about the lived experiences of thousands of women? Why does the trans experience (and trans experience by proxy through the relative), negate the lived experiences of women? Why are women, yet again, not being listened to? Must women always be expected to bend the knee to make these men comfortable, even to the point of parading their fetishes in public? I am so sick of this s**t.
Thanks Graham for another well observed and well written article.
True there! As a child, and a tomboy, I could have done this. I prayed to God every night I'd wake up a boy - this in about 1959. Being female looked like an awful prospect at that time. Now at 72 I'm positive that would have been the biggest mistake of my life. So, I can call that my own "lived experience". Seems that doesn't matter in this.
I was a tomboy too. I was always being asked why I couldn't be more lady-like. During my teens I was convinced there was something wrong with me and even researched DSDs as I thought that must be the answer as to why I was not as I "should be". Then I got older and realised it was all BS to keep me "in my place" and there was nothing wrong with a girl who wanted to do traditional boy things and hating wearing dresses and vice versa.
Exactly. Tomboys are not self identifying as "non-binary" thinking they are subverting the socital stereotypes but in fact they are bending the knee to the ideology by using their language. Some even class themselves as trans! In reality they should just be saying that women and girls can do [insert traditional male role/hobby/sport here] and boys can do vice versa and stuff anyone who thinks it's wrong. I was pleased to see recently that some young women and girls are being proud tomboys while still being female BUT of course social media being social media there are people out ther "influencing" and telling them how to do it "right".
Beautifully expressed. Here in Western Australia there is a delightful man - Declan- who was hounded out of his job as a librarian because he refused to go to one of those ‘staff training’ exercises where he would have his mind put right by these patronising pillocks who were at a loss as to why he couldn’t understand why people can switch sexes Willy nilly.
What’s always frightened me is how easily people are indoctrinated into this shite. I had rather hoped I’d manage to get through life without being exposed to all this bollocks but, alas, it wasn’t to be.
Interesting article by Bernard Lane in the Weekend Australian this weekend about the Western Australian Children's Hospital gender clinic and it's protocol/standards of care. Full tilt ideology and zero science.
So perfectly and succinctly written. Every word warranted and so well put. When oh when will people stop believing the attention seeking delusions. We think it's getting better and then we still get high profile politicians banging the drum. Or you hear of cases of people being fined or locked up for saying something inoffensive and true. Germany, Switzerland, two of the once most impressive countries in Europe have fallen deep for the cult. Thank you, Graham for not relenting. We must keep talking and normalising the truth. Never stop planting the seed to anyone you talk to. I want to see this cult destroyed stamped on and studied as a dark period of history in my lifetime. I'm confident it will happen.
Next time anyone says "my (fill in blank) is trans and therefore I am the expert", I shall now retort: "doesn't that rather cloud your judgement?"
I didn't know Varadkar said that. I used to like him. And Sturgeon. They're nothing to me now.
This bloody movement has also spoiled my enjoyment of the great tradition of pantomime dames, drag acts and retroactivaly tainted my teenage crush on David Bowie when he was Aladdin Sane. Female impersonation is an art, but it's just that - an art, an act.
Agreed re panto dames! An art form I used to love is now tainted by this movement. I was also thinking of Les Dawson last night!
Drag in the past 25 years I’ve never been able to quite get on board with, I find the vicious misogyny really offensive.
Nicola sturgeon - one of the worst types of women, joined now by Mary Lou MacDonald. Leo varadkar I did not know said that. I too am shocked at the very callousness and casual acceptance of his words.
I was a teenager in the 1970s when Glam Rock was everywhere. Musicians wore make-up, sequins, flowing, feminine clothes, but they were still very much men.
Ran into an old colleague who told me their daughter was now a son. This child was destroying family photos from years back to remove any evidence that he was once she. Siblings and extended family are under pain of who knows what if they dare utter the truth. As colleague was telling me this, I asked if she could not see how deluded it all is. She had opened our conversation with “oh you’re a TERF are you?”. Yes, yes I am. But we can still speak to one another? It doesn’t ALL have to centre round your children and lived experience does it?
My 15 year old twins (boy and girl) were talking to each other very casually about their PE lesson: 'Was your PE lesson mixed gender today?' 'SEX!' I interject. '.. And there's a reason why sex categories are separate in sports.. etc. etc'. It's a real uphill battle sounding like a dinosaur trying to correct the nonsense they're being indoctrinated with.
I've lectured my teenage daughter extensively about this ideology and all my fears only to be met with an ernest and heartfelt 'I just think we need to be kind.' I have to back-pedal a bit and say 'Listen. I feel so sad for everybody caught up in the lies. But there's no need to 'trans' gender- look at David Bowie, he never claimed to BE a woman - AND nobody can change sex. 'Trans' rights should not come at the expense of women & girls. We need spaces away from all men'.
I think 'The good ones stay out so the bad ones stand out.' is an excellent mantra they can understand but heck, it's hard work.
Shades of Penny Mordaunt, who also embraced the trans cult when her twin brother declared himself to be her twin sister ( though I believe that he has now reverted to his natal sex, how does that work?)
But don’t underestimate the power of the queen bee syndrome, either. ‘’I’m the Queen, and all the rest of you are just infertile workers, except for the few chosen ones who fertilise Me ‘ (and their wings fall off and they die immediately afterwards).
As for Varadker, I’m afraid women need to accept that to a lot of ‘gay’ men, they are just low status individual
I think we have to stop using the word gender instead of sex. It is not the same thing. Gender is the spectrum between male and female stereotypes. Anyone can be wherever they like on that spectrum without any need for medical intervention. 'Trans gender' is an oxymoron. And to change sex is impossible so the whole thing is a very harmful cosmetic nonsense. Everybody is born in their own body.
And this is why the use of the word gender has gained so much traction and is used almost exclusively. I remember actively looking up the words transvestite vs transsexual (thanks, Tim Curry!). Never was it transgender until the last 10 years. Interesting choice of a word that’s based on a social construct rather than binary fact. Fuzzy and therefore can’t be argued with. Unless I’ve got the wrong end of the stick?
Yes. And even worse- there is not just one agreed specific meaning of 'Gender'. Kathleen Stock in her gr8 book 'Material Girls' gave 4 meanings of gender- 1. A Victorian euphemism for sex. 2. An analysis of expected different behavioural roles or cultural norms for men and women, within a particular society. 3. (A division between men and women... Sorry, I didn't understand that one...) 4. A shorter version of 'Gender Identity' (-so, only likely to be used by people who believe it is possible to have a GI). I might also add another one- 5. A grammatical term for languages which have masculine, feminine and neuter nouns and adjectives. But ofc this meaning won't feature in this debate. But the overall point is- to deliberately confuse the debate, and stop any proper discussion
Totally agree- never use the word 'Gender' because it is a deliberately-ambiguous word with no one specific meaning! If we keep saying Transvestite and Transsexual etc, then everybody will know exactly what we mean- even if they don't want to admit it
This is what the literary critic Mary McCarthy said about the playwright Lillian Hellman, after Hellman co-opted someone else's story and made it into a play. "Every word she writes is a lie--including "and" & "the." MacDonald is practicing coercive control, DARVO (deny, attack, reverse victim and oppressor) and narcissistic abuse. She's raised her sacred and holy brother, who knows better than God how human beings are formed, up to the top step of the temple of Cybele, towards which all of us must bow and grovel. The Ute Heggen question is this: Is there a trans widow, whose story is suppressed, cancelled, co-opted and silenced? Most likely, Mary Lou is deeply afraid of her brother and the power he and his allies have over her. Positively Shakespearean.
Another powerful, on-the-nail piece of writing. Excellently put, all of it.
'All those years ago' when I first took my tentatively nervous steps into this brutal gendershite wars arena, I realised that the phrase, 'Those who control the language, control the debate,' was absolutely right. And nothing has changed my mind since then. I felt even then that we should not take a single backward step in relinquishing accurate and scientific/biological language or terminology.
That said, it is now not a case of gender acolytes controlling the language - or attempting to - it has moved on to a not-so subtle but very insidious attempt to control others' emotions. Namely, their guilt - or their potential for future guilt based on genuine ignorance, especially when met with the blast of an aggressive argument which essentially and simply boils down to BE NICE... OR ELSE!
The phrase can now perhaps be reworded as, 'Those who influence others' guilt, control the debate'.
Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. I promise to put more jokes in the next one though... 😬
Years and years ago, when gays were just becoming public, I read about a fellow who told an acquaintance that he was gay. The acquaintance said, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I'll pray for you." It may be too late to treat trans people and their sympathizers as the mentally ill people they are, but maybe that territory can be recovered if we employ some of those techniques. To wit:
"I support my sister in her quest to be her authentic self" could be answered as a non sequitur, as follows:
"I'm so sorry you've had to endure having a transgender family member. You do understand, don't you, that only a person with a female body can be a woman and therefore a sister?"
Or: "It seems to me a person who is pretending to have changed genders is not being particularly authentic, since such a thing isn't possible."
Or a more direct approach: "The idea that a person can change genders has not been accepted by the general population, so perhaps you should refer to [name] as your brother."
Or an even more direct approach: "Sorry, I don't believe in that crap. You have a brother, not a sister. If you want to help your brother, encourage him to stop pretending to be something he isn't. That's called 'delusion'."
It may be too late to take this approach, but to the extent that anti-trans activists like us behave as if the entire set of trans ideas is just pure nonsense, the more quickly we will return society to a normal state.
(Isn't it interesting that we have to talk about this social issue as if it were a war, with territories being lost and/or recovered?)
====================
I have to backtrack a little on what I said above. I think it's too late for techniques like that to work. Instead, I think that we need to keep saying something that is obviously true: that transgenderism is a dangerous cult. It is based on false ideas about humanity, and it encourages its member to harm themselves in irreversible ways -- and that's why we are against it. So:
"I support my sister in her quest to be her authentic self." The best answer is: "My opinion is that transgenderism is a cult which harms people." And then you can give your reasons if a discussion ensues. A reporter, however, couldn't use that language. A reporter answering a public figure would have to say something like, "Public opinion seems to be turning against the idea that trans people are a legitimate minority. Indeed, many people are now calling it a cult." Et cetera, et cetera.
One thing I've noticed about Donald Trump and other con men and political liars is that they glom onto a few good "talking points" and stick with them. As anti-transgender activists, we need to do that too. That will work for one simple reason: Transgenderism IS a cult, with all of the elements and dangers of a cult! Trans ideas mislead people, and they harm people, and they confuse and brain-wash people.
Let me close by saying that "cult" is a VERY powerful word. Once we brand transgenderism as a cult, that idea will be stuck in the public's mind.
[I just want to add that I'm not the first person to realize that transgenderism is a cult. That's not original with me. Others have been saying it for a while. The one drawback of calling it a cult is that cults are usually centered around charismatic leaders, and transgenderism doesn't seem to have a central figure. I guess the "leader" part of it isn't necessary, though.]
I love these suggested responses. You're right that it would have normalised speaking the truth had we responded like this from the start. Sadly the militant fetishists and their enablers went hard and fast. But it's not too late to start now. Ideally with the polite option to get people on side. As much as I'd like to shout "you deluded fool are you mental" I don't think it will do anything to get people on board. Never go along with any delusion. Never stop correcting people.
you could just say... oh... so he's a drag queen!!
And it would be true. I see trans people as drag queens who are so obsessed with the idea that they must be female all day long, and they must pretend that their cosmetic surgery somehow makes them real women. It's a more committed level of pretending.
Indeed, trans women don't always go in for the medicalization, so what they are really is drag queens who wear the drag all the time.
And while I'm mentioning "pretending", that's exactly what I think they are doing. They go from being normal males doing more-or-less normal things, to being actors who are always on stage. And they aren't just acting for other people; they are performing for themselves for their own gratification.
I was acquainted with the poet Daniel Goetsch (via reputation only) before he became Diana Goetsch. Now, in all his photos he looks like he's posing. He was an older man when he "transitioned" so he probably has autogynephilia. I have this image of him now doing normal household things when he is alone, and continually asking himself, "Am I doing it the way a woman would do it?" Talking about Goetsch probably isn't fair because I don't really know him, but I do think that a lot of trans women see themselves as actresses more than anything else.
Excellent article. Would New Statesman be interested in publishing it? I'm probably being naive, but maybe worth a try.
"Lived experience?" What about the lived experiences of thousands of women? Why does the trans experience (and trans experience by proxy through the relative), negate the lived experiences of women? Why are women, yet again, not being listened to? Must women always be expected to bend the knee to make these men comfortable, even to the point of parading their fetishes in public? I am so sick of this s**t.
Thanks Graham for another well observed and well written article.
True there! As a child, and a tomboy, I could have done this. I prayed to God every night I'd wake up a boy - this in about 1959. Being female looked like an awful prospect at that time. Now at 72 I'm positive that would have been the biggest mistake of my life. So, I can call that my own "lived experience". Seems that doesn't matter in this.
I was a tomboy too. I was always being asked why I couldn't be more lady-like. During my teens I was convinced there was something wrong with me and even researched DSDs as I thought that must be the answer as to why I was not as I "should be". Then I got older and realised it was all BS to keep me "in my place" and there was nothing wrong with a girl who wanted to do traditional boy things and hating wearing dresses and vice versa.
Shows the mental health pros never ask those who outgrew this!
Exactly. Tomboys are not self identifying as "non-binary" thinking they are subverting the socital stereotypes but in fact they are bending the knee to the ideology by using their language. Some even class themselves as trans! In reality they should just be saying that women and girls can do [insert traditional male role/hobby/sport here] and boys can do vice versa and stuff anyone who thinks it's wrong. I was pleased to see recently that some young women and girls are being proud tomboys while still being female BUT of course social media being social media there are people out ther "influencing" and telling them how to do it "right".
Yes - and what about the lived experience of trans widows?
Yes, more women's lived experiences.
Beautifully expressed. Here in Western Australia there is a delightful man - Declan- who was hounded out of his job as a librarian because he refused to go to one of those ‘staff training’ exercises where he would have his mind put right by these patronising pillocks who were at a loss as to why he couldn’t understand why people can switch sexes Willy nilly.
What’s always frightened me is how easily people are indoctrinated into this shite. I had rather hoped I’d manage to get through life without being exposed to all this bollocks but, alas, it wasn’t to be.
Interesting article by Bernard Lane in the Weekend Australian this weekend about the Western Australian Children's Hospital gender clinic and it's protocol/standards of care. Full tilt ideology and zero science.
Yes plus they have been referring teenage girls to private clinics for double mastectomies!!!
So perfectly and succinctly written. Every word warranted and so well put. When oh when will people stop believing the attention seeking delusions. We think it's getting better and then we still get high profile politicians banging the drum. Or you hear of cases of people being fined or locked up for saying something inoffensive and true. Germany, Switzerland, two of the once most impressive countries in Europe have fallen deep for the cult. Thank you, Graham for not relenting. We must keep talking and normalising the truth. Never stop planting the seed to anyone you talk to. I want to see this cult destroyed stamped on and studied as a dark period of history in my lifetime. I'm confident it will happen.
“Mary McDonald's ‘lived experience’ Is that of a victim of grooming.”
You’re so right, Graham. The whole trans cult is a grooming gang and we know how well we’ve handled them in the past!
Totally agree. I’ve had friends lead with, ‘Well, I have a trans friend(s)…’ and right away you know you’re being shut down.
As I was reading this, a friend and her trans kid walked in the front door! They can’t not know our stance. The unsaid was palpable.
Next time anyone says "my (fill in blank) is trans and therefore I am the expert", I shall now retort: "doesn't that rather cloud your judgement?"
I didn't know Varadkar said that. I used to like him. And Sturgeon. They're nothing to me now.
This bloody movement has also spoiled my enjoyment of the great tradition of pantomime dames, drag acts and retroactivaly tainted my teenage crush on David Bowie when he was Aladdin Sane. Female impersonation is an art, but it's just that - an art, an act.
Agreed re panto dames! An art form I used to love is now tainted by this movement. I was also thinking of Les Dawson last night!
Drag in the past 25 years I’ve never been able to quite get on board with, I find the vicious misogyny really offensive.
Nicola sturgeon - one of the worst types of women, joined now by Mary Lou MacDonald. Leo varadkar I did not know said that. I too am shocked at the very callousness and casual acceptance of his words.
David Bowie never claimed to be a woman. Your crush is safe. 😊
I was a teenager in the 1970s when Glam Rock was everywhere. Musicians wore make-up, sequins, flowing, feminine clothes, but they were still very much men.
I’m afraid my first crush was both Wonder Woman and Shakin’ Stevens. With a side of unattainable John travolta.
Ran into an old colleague who told me their daughter was now a son. This child was destroying family photos from years back to remove any evidence that he was once she. Siblings and extended family are under pain of who knows what if they dare utter the truth. As colleague was telling me this, I asked if she could not see how deluded it all is. She had opened our conversation with “oh you’re a TERF are you?”. Yes, yes I am. But we can still speak to one another? It doesn’t ALL have to centre round your children and lived experience does it?
Excellent piece. As usual.
My 15 year old twins (boy and girl) were talking to each other very casually about their PE lesson: 'Was your PE lesson mixed gender today?' 'SEX!' I interject. '.. And there's a reason why sex categories are separate in sports.. etc. etc'. It's a real uphill battle sounding like a dinosaur trying to correct the nonsense they're being indoctrinated with.
I've lectured my teenage daughter extensively about this ideology and all my fears only to be met with an ernest and heartfelt 'I just think we need to be kind.' I have to back-pedal a bit and say 'Listen. I feel so sad for everybody caught up in the lies. But there's no need to 'trans' gender- look at David Bowie, he never claimed to BE a woman - AND nobody can change sex. 'Trans' rights should not come at the expense of women & girls. We need spaces away from all men'.
I think 'The good ones stay out so the bad ones stand out.' is an excellent mantra they can understand but heck, it's hard work.
Shades of Penny Mordaunt, who also embraced the trans cult when her twin brother declared himself to be her twin sister ( though I believe that he has now reverted to his natal sex, how does that work?)
But don’t underestimate the power of the queen bee syndrome, either. ‘’I’m the Queen, and all the rest of you are just infertile workers, except for the few chosen ones who fertilise Me ‘ (and their wings fall off and they die immediately afterwards).
As for Varadker, I’m afraid women need to accept that to a lot of ‘gay’ men, they are just low status individual
I think we have to stop using the word gender instead of sex. It is not the same thing. Gender is the spectrum between male and female stereotypes. Anyone can be wherever they like on that spectrum without any need for medical intervention. 'Trans gender' is an oxymoron. And to change sex is impossible so the whole thing is a very harmful cosmetic nonsense. Everybody is born in their own body.
And this is why the use of the word gender has gained so much traction and is used almost exclusively. I remember actively looking up the words transvestite vs transsexual (thanks, Tim Curry!). Never was it transgender until the last 10 years. Interesting choice of a word that’s based on a social construct rather than binary fact. Fuzzy and therefore can’t be argued with. Unless I’ve got the wrong end of the stick?
Yes. And even worse- there is not just one agreed specific meaning of 'Gender'. Kathleen Stock in her gr8 book 'Material Girls' gave 4 meanings of gender- 1. A Victorian euphemism for sex. 2. An analysis of expected different behavioural roles or cultural norms for men and women, within a particular society. 3. (A division between men and women... Sorry, I didn't understand that one...) 4. A shorter version of 'Gender Identity' (-so, only likely to be used by people who believe it is possible to have a GI). I might also add another one- 5. A grammatical term for languages which have masculine, feminine and neuter nouns and adjectives. But ofc this meaning won't feature in this debate. But the overall point is- to deliberately confuse the debate, and stop any proper discussion
Totally agree- never use the word 'Gender' because it is a deliberately-ambiguous word with no one specific meaning! If we keep saying Transvestite and Transsexual etc, then everybody will know exactly what we mean- even if they don't want to admit it
Such a great post, Graham.
Like all cults, the "trans" cult uses emotional blackmail to get its way.
This is what the literary critic Mary McCarthy said about the playwright Lillian Hellman, after Hellman co-opted someone else's story and made it into a play. "Every word she writes is a lie--including "and" & "the." MacDonald is practicing coercive control, DARVO (deny, attack, reverse victim and oppressor) and narcissistic abuse. She's raised her sacred and holy brother, who knows better than God how human beings are formed, up to the top step of the temple of Cybele, towards which all of us must bow and grovel. The Ute Heggen question is this: Is there a trans widow, whose story is suppressed, cancelled, co-opted and silenced? Most likely, Mary Lou is deeply afraid of her brother and the power he and his allies have over her. Positively Shakespearean.