I heard Lois’s story a couple of months ago and wanted to get it out there, but didn’t know how to approach it. It seemed indecent to use it, even in the greater cause of drawing attention to an appalling situation in hyper-woke Canada, where an assisted dying program (MAID) awaits those, like Lois, who regret undergoing surgery that is experimental, irreversible, and ideological. Thankfully, Lois’s friend Neil Dorin has written this plea for his friend which gives the full story. My thanks to him.
What a sad society we have become. People who could have lived their lives free from physical pain and in need of psychological help and advice pushed along by an ideology which goes against all rational thought.
Such a sad story, beautifully told. I can only hope that Lois’ bravery in speaking out, will deter other young people from taking such drastic action. I hope he is able to enjoy some memorable experiences and can find some happiness and fulfilment knowing that he might be helping others.
I have always opposed assisted dying because of my fear it would be used on those with severe depression who whilst ill, want to die.
What many fail to understand is that clinical depression is an illness that is trying to kill you. Depressives do not need the medical profession to help clinical depression kill people.
Mental illness is not understood by the wider public, who only see assisted dying as relating to end of life care.
What was offered to this depressed young person was immoral.
At their lowest ebb during a depressive episode, they did not need an offer of assisted dying.
Glad the story is out there now.
When I heard of their plight in December last year, I was incensed that someone whose very real illness was telling her to kill herself, was offered assisted dying.
This policy cannot be trusted in the hands of the State.
I'm so sorry to read this sad account of a friend's concern for his friend. All of this grief and suffering could have been avoided if Lois had received the proper support that he really needed. Instead, we have someone who had their whole life ahead of them contemplating ending that life because of a lie. It's just too painful to think about. My heart goes out to Neil and especially to Lois.
I have tried to donate to this Gofundme from the UK, using three different cards. When the "Donate now" button is clicked, the page does not move on, and the transaction never completes. The rest of the donations page loads normally.
Well that’s less than ideal. I’ve no idea why that would be happening. There’s been several people that have been able to donate successfully today, but no indication from what country.
Twitter flags up a warning for this site. Ridiculous. You also cannot reply to tweets with this link. The No debate be kind brigade up to their old tricks?
Elon Musk has decided that Twitter is a threat to his business model, and is blocking any posts with substack links in them. Free speech has its limits, apparently.
Poor Lois. The way First Nations and Native Americans are still treated to this day is appalling. Stuck in the middle of nowhere, often on land where it's so hard to grow food....few shops, if any at all...
So many of their children put into foster care, adopted out of their own communities, and it used to be that states in USA were paid way more to take indigenous children into care. Ask yourselves why. Covert Genocide, basically, and ensuring the break with their indigenous beliefs and history is broken too. Same as The Indian Boarding Schools...separating parents from children.
Lois is in Canada, I believe...and First Nations still struggling out there.
It's been worrying me for so long about the way that people with mental health problems are being given treatment which means they become unable to have children, and/or are left in terrible pain, sometimes such pain they can't see a way out. It concerns even more deeply when this path is being encouraged for Indigenous Peoples, because, again, there it is, that desire to cut the population down and down. It sounds horrific, but, it's happening. Loads of NPR articles about this out there...
Lois needs the help of all of us. Crowdfunder for medical expenses here:
When will the mutilation become so bad and the excuses so insane (we women suffer from vaginal atrophy), that the lawmakers and politicians will wake up and end this butchery?
What a sad story. I can't begin to understand why ANY Government would follow the dictates of a death cult ,and then when things don't work out for the victims ,simply offer them " euthanasia " as a way to solve the problems created by these policies !! It's truly heartbreaking ,and shows like nothing else how heartless and cruel this ideology really is. It's disciples are rapidly turning into a terrorist organisation for all the world to see and still governments double down on their support for it. I really hope Lois can find peace and have a change of heart.❤️🙏
Interesting you would say that, William. When I first met Lois, I had the strangest experience where I felt this deep cognitive dissonance between my knowledge of the reality of Lois’ sex, and the recognition that Lois was a gay male, but once I was in the same room, it felt WRONG (emphasis on wrong rather than impolite) for me to use anything but she/her as we were speaking in a group and I was referencing her. And, as you say, Lois’s never made any requests about how to refer to her.
To date, I have never experienced this when interacting with any other trans person or anyone with preferred pronouns.
When I wrote this piece, I intentionally avoided pronouns because I know how strongly I and others can feel about using cross sex pronouns. It made it excruciatingly hard to write, but the goal of raising funds for Lois was more important than my temporary cognitive dissonance.
This experience has caused me to rethink how I feel about pronouns and why. I wouldn’t say I’ve changed my stance or opinion, but I’m more certain that I’ve thought it through more thoroughly.
I still refuse to use specific pronouns when compelled by law or demanded by others. But in special cases, where a unique human has earned my respect. I may choose to use the pronouns that I feel best align with my experience of them as a human, regardless of their preference.
The problem I’ve had to overcome, and as you can imagine I’ve had a lot of conversations about Lois in person lately, is how to communicate to others the important detail of Lois’ sex. This is still awkward, and I’m still working this out, but while it feels right to me to refer to Lois as she, it feels like a lie to leave out the detail that Lois is male to someone who isn’t already aware.
Real life is so much messier than our ideological lines in the sand, isn’t it?
And I'm with you on the pronouns issue: I would utterly refuse to use them as matter of being compelled to but, in Lois' case, gladly - especially if it meant she'd go on living.
And, yes, I have never met a trans person or anyone else with preferred pronouns who didn't insist on them before you even had a chance to say "hello".
Aiding and abetting suicide is a crime in the UK. Prosecutions can only be brought with the consent of the DPP, but even so, I think contributing to a fund could be interpreted as aiding and abetting. I don't think it would make any difference that the suicide is legal in Canada. This is not a comment on the rights and wrongs of the fund raiser. I just think that if people in the UK want to contribute, they should be aware of the risk, however small.
To be clear, the intent of this fundraising effort is NOT to aid Lois’ journey toward MAiD. It is to give access to appropriate medical care and every possible offramp that would be a pathway AWAY from MAiD.
While there is no guarantee, especially with the ideological capture of the Canadian health care system, if Lois is able to access quality care that can improve the issues with the surgery, Lois may no longer qualify for MAiD as per the criteria in the article.
The only way in which the fundraising is related to MAiD is to help pay for expenses to attend the appointment in Calgary on in April to see a post op transition specialist.
This is a requirement of the MAiD process to rule out any possible treatment options of Lois. If viable treatment options are available, it may result in Lois no longer being eligible to continue the MAiD process, which is why it’s so crucial that the appointment happens.
The best chance of MAiD being taken off the table is getting Lois to that appointment and hoping that this specialist can offer some treatment!
Suicide prevention was the point of all this, wasn't it? What a horribly perfect illustration of the lie being sold to people.
What a sad society we have become. People who could have lived their lives free from physical pain and in need of psychological help and advice pushed along by an ideology which goes against all rational thought.
Such a sad story, beautifully told. I can only hope that Lois’ bravery in speaking out, will deter other young people from taking such drastic action. I hope he is able to enjoy some memorable experiences and can find some happiness and fulfilment knowing that he might be helping others.
This really is the most evil of times.
I have always opposed assisted dying because of my fear it would be used on those with severe depression who whilst ill, want to die.
What many fail to understand is that clinical depression is an illness that is trying to kill you. Depressives do not need the medical profession to help clinical depression kill people.
Mental illness is not understood by the wider public, who only see assisted dying as relating to end of life care.
What was offered to this depressed young person was immoral.
At their lowest ebb during a depressive episode, they did not need an offer of assisted dying.
Glad the story is out there now.
When I heard of their plight in December last year, I was incensed that someone whose very real illness was telling her to kill herself, was offered assisted dying.
This policy cannot be trusted in the hands of the State.
I'm so sorry to read this sad account of a friend's concern for his friend. All of this grief and suffering could have been avoided if Lois had received the proper support that he really needed. Instead, we have someone who had their whole life ahead of them contemplating ending that life because of a lie. It's just too painful to think about. My heart goes out to Neil and especially to Lois.
OMG! I know Lois!
Well William pass on our good wishes.
Give Lois our love, William. We need to raise money for life, for living, not for Lois's death. Beautiful person....
Thank you for this, Neil.
***Attn Neil***
I have tried to donate to this Gofundme from the UK, using three different cards. When the "Donate now" button is clicked, the page does not move on, and the transaction never completes. The rest of the donations page loads normally.
Same here!
Looks like GoFundMe may be having some issues today. Possible try later on?
I'll give it a try tomorrow.
Still broken Sunday morning
Well that’s less than ideal. I’ve no idea why that would be happening. There’s been several people that have been able to donate successfully today, but no indication from what country.
Thanks for letting me know.
Twitter flags up a warning for this site. Ridiculous. You also cannot reply to tweets with this link. The No debate be kind brigade up to their old tricks?
Elon Musk has decided that Twitter is a threat to his business model, and is blocking any posts with substack links in them. Free speech has its limits, apparently.
Aa hiv jist posted this article oan Twitter...no sure how long it remains...
Also how about the following for some prize American medical gender-ideology-infected guff. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22354-low-estrogen. Have donated for Lois. Please may you continue telling your important story for many many years.
Poor Lois. The way First Nations and Native Americans are still treated to this day is appalling. Stuck in the middle of nowhere, often on land where it's so hard to grow food....few shops, if any at all...
So many of their children put into foster care, adopted out of their own communities, and it used to be that states in USA were paid way more to take indigenous children into care. Ask yourselves why. Covert Genocide, basically, and ensuring the break with their indigenous beliefs and history is broken too. Same as The Indian Boarding Schools...separating parents from children.
Lois is in Canada, I believe...and First Nations still struggling out there.
It's been worrying me for so long about the way that people with mental health problems are being given treatment which means they become unable to have children, and/or are left in terrible pain, sometimes such pain they can't see a way out. It concerns even more deeply when this path is being encouraged for Indigenous Peoples, because, again, there it is, that desire to cut the population down and down. It sounds horrific, but, it's happening. Loads of NPR articles about this out there...
Lois needs the help of all of us. Crowdfunder for medical expenses here:
https://www.gofundme.com/f/lois-gofundme?member=26018331&sharetype=teams&utm_campaign=p_na+share-sheet&utm_medium=more&utm_source=customer
Thanks for telling this very moving story and hope Lois re-thinks. He has good support from his friends and family it seems.
When will the mutilation become so bad and the excuses so insane (we women suffer from vaginal atrophy), that the lawmakers and politicians will wake up and end this butchery?
What a sad story. I can't begin to understand why ANY Government would follow the dictates of a death cult ,and then when things don't work out for the victims ,simply offer them " euthanasia " as a way to solve the problems created by these policies !! It's truly heartbreaking ,and shows like nothing else how heartless and cruel this ideology really is. It's disciples are rapidly turning into a terrorist organisation for all the world to see and still governments double down on their support for it. I really hope Lois can find peace and have a change of heart.❤️🙏
Let me put it this way:
Lois Cardinal is the only trans person I would ever refer to as "she/her" if he ever asked me to, but he never did and never insisted.
Interesting you would say that, William. When I first met Lois, I had the strangest experience where I felt this deep cognitive dissonance between my knowledge of the reality of Lois’ sex, and the recognition that Lois was a gay male, but once I was in the same room, it felt WRONG (emphasis on wrong rather than impolite) for me to use anything but she/her as we were speaking in a group and I was referencing her. And, as you say, Lois’s never made any requests about how to refer to her.
To date, I have never experienced this when interacting with any other trans person or anyone with preferred pronouns.
When I wrote this piece, I intentionally avoided pronouns because I know how strongly I and others can feel about using cross sex pronouns. It made it excruciatingly hard to write, but the goal of raising funds for Lois was more important than my temporary cognitive dissonance.
This experience has caused me to rethink how I feel about pronouns and why. I wouldn’t say I’ve changed my stance or opinion, but I’m more certain that I’ve thought it through more thoroughly.
I still refuse to use specific pronouns when compelled by law or demanded by others. But in special cases, where a unique human has earned my respect. I may choose to use the pronouns that I feel best align with my experience of them as a human, regardless of their preference.
The problem I’ve had to overcome, and as you can imagine I’ve had a lot of conversations about Lois in person lately, is how to communicate to others the important detail of Lois’ sex. This is still awkward, and I’m still working this out, but while it feels right to me to refer to Lois as she, it feels like a lie to leave out the detail that Lois is male to someone who isn’t already aware.
Real life is so much messier than our ideological lines in the sand, isn’t it?
Indeed it is. Very messy.
And I'm with you on the pronouns issue: I would utterly refuse to use them as matter of being compelled to but, in Lois' case, gladly - especially if it meant she'd go on living.
And, yes, I have never met a trans person or anyone else with preferred pronouns who didn't insist on them before you even had a chance to say "hello".
I'm heartened by the number of likes on my comment about assisted dying. It's a relief to be understood...at last!
As am I. ❤️
Aiding and abetting suicide is a crime in the UK. Prosecutions can only be brought with the consent of the DPP, but even so, I think contributing to a fund could be interpreted as aiding and abetting. I don't think it would make any difference that the suicide is legal in Canada. This is not a comment on the rights and wrongs of the fund raiser. I just think that if people in the UK want to contribute, they should be aware of the risk, however small.
To be clear, the intent of this fundraising effort is NOT to aid Lois’ journey toward MAiD. It is to give access to appropriate medical care and every possible offramp that would be a pathway AWAY from MAiD.
While there is no guarantee, especially with the ideological capture of the Canadian health care system, if Lois is able to access quality care that can improve the issues with the surgery, Lois may no longer qualify for MAiD as per the criteria in the article.
I'd suggest making that clearer on the GoFundMe page then, I read it and had the same misunderstanding at first.
O.K. My comment was clearly unnecessary.
Yeah, the understanding I got from the article was that the fundraising was for MAiD, or MAiD-related.
The only way in which the fundraising is related to MAiD is to help pay for expenses to attend the appointment in Calgary on in April to see a post op transition specialist.
This is a requirement of the MAiD process to rule out any possible treatment options of Lois. If viable treatment options are available, it may result in Lois no longer being eligible to continue the MAiD process, which is why it’s so crucial that the appointment happens.
The best chance of MAiD being taken off the table is getting Lois to that appointment and hoping that this specialist can offer some treatment!
Thanks, Neil.