If they bang on about puberty blockers being reversible, then they have to also consider that socially transitioning is also reversible. It shouldn't be this difficult to detransition, kids makes mistakes, I know, I was one, we were all kids and thought stupid insane things when we were young. The difference is, "in our day" things blew over, we could laugh about the daft things we did. This, THIS is the result of a massive lie told to impressionable young people, by ADULTS! and now these kids are too scared to admit they made a mistake. It's horrible, this poor kid should be able to laugh it off like we did, but he won't be allowed to will he?! How could this happen, it's madness! [Rant over]
That is so true. Otherwise I would be stuck with blue/black hair dye, black eye makeup, black lipstick and The Cure T-shirts…not that there would be anything particularly wrong with that. But I’d get some funny looks at the garden centre.
I couldn't look at "Amy" on Jeopardy! and then last week we had a middle-aged man with a mohawk dyed purple or something. He looked absolutely idiotic! Old dog dressed as puppy. I'm assuming he's some sort of quackademic as they seem to like to imitate their students.
This is one of the reasons that transition is seen as a cult. Everything about the ideology is a one way street to make those who support the ideology feel validated in their thinking and in their "celebrity". If people leave a, cult, they are told they no longer exist, that they will have terrible "curses" brought down in them and that they will never be accepted anywhere rlsr. Just like those who are detransitioners.
The rest of us must stand for those who want to change their minds. We need to stand beside them and around them so they know that what they are doing is right and right for them. We need to give them back the ordinary and support them while they find their ordinary again. Maybe then the cult won't win and commonsense and ordinary for everyone will out.
That's such a good point about leaving a cult - one thing that cults use to tie people to the cult is "intermittent positive reinforcement". I would say that's what all the "fear indoctrination" does. Having the person see insults and discrimination everywhere. Having transphobia be as wide as humanely possible so the person feels fear and upset at more and more things. Making suicide and violence risks sound imminent. Statements like we're in survival mode.
The trans community will be there now and then for the occasional positive feeling but mostly the person lives in fear.
This risks something called a trauma bond starting. It makes it difficult to leave.
Also serves to heighten the perception of discrimination against the trans community.
A theory I had based on the idea of the cult.
That trauma bond also happens in abusive relationships and makes it hard to leave them. Intermittent positive reinforcement messes you up, especially if you already suffer from mental health problems and are insecure generally.
That is a powerful piece of writing and gives us some serious food for thought. Most of my suggestions sound trite in my head but I would love to know how your son gets on In gradually walking back from this and establishing himself at college.
The answer is - because it is a cult. We all know this. They surround them with love and promises of finding happiness and this is affirmed and celebrated and they are made to feel special. No longer invisible they get attention and told they are beautiful and brave. However, when they leave they are ostracised. They lose all of that attention and celebration and instead face denial, ridicule and being frozen out of the special trans family. I've seen documentaries on cults and Scientology as well as the Mormons and you don't just walk away without repurcussions.
I was talking in a different comment I posted nearby, about how people get into cults and stay there. And you are talking about what happens when people leave. Sorry didn't come out too clear
They can no more admit that detransition is valid than scientology can admit that ex-members came to their decisions through logic and reason. You can't keep a cult intact without making apostates of anyone who leaves the cult.
That is a powerful piece of writing the bit that got me was not wishing to speak to the counsellor again. I wonder if the original sessions felt to affirmative…maybe a little coercy…?
Anyway, on a practical note the D is also a great idea. (Hang on a minute that reads wrong?!).
The D in the sense of adding it to LGBT(I refuse to write any more letters than that). But I could add a D after the T. Surfacing the experience of Sinead and Keira and all the others and recognising them as being as real as an T (or Q or I or A or +?!) would be empowering to the kids. It starts with ‘what does the D stand for’? And might end with thousands of people climbing down off of the edge.
Very well written piece and spot on There appears to be a rapidly growing number of detransitioners and self help groups. Such a shame that kids at school have to be afraid to admit they made a mistake and transition's not for them. Hope they can access the help they need. What on earth do teachers think they're there for ??
Has anyone seen kids and young people lining up to identify as homosexual?
I'm genuinely curious as to why 'trans' has such a pull in comparison and as yet can can only surmise that it is largely because being 'trans' doesn't require anything other than uttering the magic words.
You can do so before the age of consent, there's the 'taboo' shock value of wearing opposite sex clothing and hairstyles, though I expect that might lose its allure when it becomes all too common and your parents and peers parents are doing it and then there's the upside of not having to get involved in the icky act of physical contact with someone of the same sex.
How about building into the schools support of this, and their insistence on 'educating' these kids to believe in transition, the important alternative of not believing it. Teach them about the path they will be going on, taking body altering drugs, being made sterile and not having sexual function etc. I think it should be written into the guidance that the children hear both sides. Schools must be held responsible.
If they bang on about puberty blockers being reversible, then they have to also consider that socially transitioning is also reversible. It shouldn't be this difficult to detransition, kids makes mistakes, I know, I was one, we were all kids and thought stupid insane things when we were young. The difference is, "in our day" things blew over, we could laugh about the daft things we did. This, THIS is the result of a massive lie told to impressionable young people, by ADULTS! and now these kids are too scared to admit they made a mistake. It's horrible, this poor kid should be able to laugh it off like we did, but he won't be allowed to will he?! How could this happen, it's madness! [Rant over]
What you are sure of at one point in your teens,should not be a lifetime albatross.
That is so true. Otherwise I would be stuck with blue/black hair dye, black eye makeup, black lipstick and The Cure T-shirts…not that there would be anything particularly wrong with that. But I’d get some funny looks at the garden centre.
I couldn't look at "Amy" on Jeopardy! and then last week we had a middle-aged man with a mohawk dyed purple or something. He looked absolutely idiotic! Old dog dressed as puppy. I'm assuming he's some sort of quackademic as they seem to like to imitate their students.
This is one of the reasons that transition is seen as a cult. Everything about the ideology is a one way street to make those who support the ideology feel validated in their thinking and in their "celebrity". If people leave a, cult, they are told they no longer exist, that they will have terrible "curses" brought down in them and that they will never be accepted anywhere rlsr. Just like those who are detransitioners.
The rest of us must stand for those who want to change their minds. We need to stand beside them and around them so they know that what they are doing is right and right for them. We need to give them back the ordinary and support them while they find their ordinary again. Maybe then the cult won't win and commonsense and ordinary for everyone will out.
That's such a good point about leaving a cult - one thing that cults use to tie people to the cult is "intermittent positive reinforcement". I would say that's what all the "fear indoctrination" does. Having the person see insults and discrimination everywhere. Having transphobia be as wide as humanely possible so the person feels fear and upset at more and more things. Making suicide and violence risks sound imminent. Statements like we're in survival mode.
The trans community will be there now and then for the occasional positive feeling but mostly the person lives in fear.
This risks something called a trauma bond starting. It makes it difficult to leave.
Also serves to heighten the perception of discrimination against the trans community.
A theory I had based on the idea of the cult.
That trauma bond also happens in abusive relationships and makes it hard to leave them. Intermittent positive reinforcement messes you up, especially if you already suffer from mental health problems and are insecure generally.
That is a powerful piece of writing and gives us some serious food for thought. Most of my suggestions sound trite in my head but I would love to know how your son gets on In gradually walking back from this and establishing himself at college.
The answer is - because it is a cult. We all know this. They surround them with love and promises of finding happiness and this is affirmed and celebrated and they are made to feel special. No longer invisible they get attention and told they are beautiful and brave. However, when they leave they are ostracised. They lose all of that attention and celebration and instead face denial, ridicule and being frozen out of the special trans family. I've seen documentaries on cults and Scientology as well as the Mormons and you don't just walk away without repurcussions.
Yeah that's the other side of the coin. I was just talking about the joining bit.
Hi Penny. I'm afraid I don't understand your reply in answer to my comment.
I was talking in a different comment I posted nearby, about how people get into cults and stay there. And you are talking about what happens when people leave. Sorry didn't come out too clear
Ah, that makes sense! :D I'll find the other comment!
This is so sad kids go through so many phases...but this trans business is like something you can never walk back from.
Go back to hippie, skins, punk, goth, emo, etc etc …its like well I am now a grown up and moved on...so shut up!
This though one is like
"You can check out any time you like
But you can never leave"
Eagles - Hotel California
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqPtz5qN7HM
They can no more admit that detransition is valid than scientology can admit that ex-members came to their decisions through logic and reason. You can't keep a cult intact without making apostates of anyone who leaves the cult.
That is a powerful piece of writing the bit that got me was not wishing to speak to the counsellor again. I wonder if the original sessions felt to affirmative…maybe a little coercy…?
Anyway, on a practical note the D is also a great idea. (Hang on a minute that reads wrong?!).
The D in the sense of adding it to LGBT(I refuse to write any more letters than that). But I could add a D after the T. Surfacing the experience of Sinead and Keira and all the others and recognising them as being as real as an T (or Q or I or A or +?!) would be empowering to the kids. It starts with ‘what does the D stand for’? And might end with thousands of people climbing down off of the edge.
I’m going to start adding the D on.
Very well written piece and spot on There appears to be a rapidly growing number of detransitioners and self help groups. Such a shame that kids at school have to be afraid to admit they made a mistake and transition's not for them. Hope they can access the help they need. What on earth do teachers think they're there for ??
Has anyone seen kids and young people lining up to identify as homosexual?
I'm genuinely curious as to why 'trans' has such a pull in comparison and as yet can can only surmise that it is largely because being 'trans' doesn't require anything other than uttering the magic words.
You can do so before the age of consent, there's the 'taboo' shock value of wearing opposite sex clothing and hairstyles, though I expect that might lose its allure when it becomes all too common and your parents and peers parents are doing it and then there's the upside of not having to get involved in the icky act of physical contact with someone of the same sex.
Can anyone else shed light on this?
How about building into the schools support of this, and their insistence on 'educating' these kids to believe in transition, the important alternative of not believing it. Teach them about the path they will be going on, taking body altering drugs, being made sterile and not having sexual function etc. I think it should be written into the guidance that the children hear both sides. Schools must be held responsible.
Tee hee! Yes.