61 Comments

“Jamie Wallis MP, you are charged with a number of serious offences.

How do you wish to plead, guilty or not guilty?”

“I’m Trans your honour.”

Expand full comment

He has a “Get Out Of Male Free” card

Expand full comment

I saw what you did there! Let's face it, he is a smug, devious, lying tosser.

Expand full comment

Yep , default for everything

Expand full comment
Apr 5, 2022Liked by Graham Linehan

There was so obviously much more to this from the start but these chuckleheads couldn't resist an opportunity for some "stunning and brave" grandstanding. All they had to do was keep shtum for five minutes but they couldn't even do that. Now they're hoping nobody remembers the day they celebrated a fat Tory cheat with a string of dodgy outfits behind him, and I'm not just talking about what he wears when he's getting stiffed by other men.

Whatever one might think about Ash Sarkar, being slow to hold Tories to account isn't something of which she can readily be accused, except for when the Tory in question flees from the scene of an accident, reveals himself to be a cheat and claims to be a woman, in which case all bets are off. Identity politics rots the brain.

Expand full comment
author

likelikelikelikelike

Expand full comment

Well spank my arse and call me surprised

Still stunning and brave though eh

Expand full comment

Gosh, the usual suspects have gone awfully quiet...? No Laurie Penny or Owen Jones or Billy Bragg congratulating him/her/their/whatever on his Zelensky-like level of courage? Not even an Archbishop Of Canterbury "celebrating his sacred journey of becoming whole, precious honoured and loved by himself, by others and by God."

Ah well, at least when he gets hoofed out at the next election he can blame transphobia. Definitely nothing to do with helping nonces dodge prison or fleeing the scene of an accident or being a pimp or running shitty rip-off companies.

Expand full comment

Well...he sounds lovely!

And how does one "accidentally" download kiddie porn? Asking for a friend.

Expand full comment

"Accidentally" downloading kiddie porn is a special skill that you need an expensive consultant to retroactively learn.

Expand full comment

Literally the claim William Talley made and tried to build his defense on. And just like Ash Sarkar and company, there were Imani Gandy and friends to defend him and claim I was just making it all up.

Expand full comment

That wording "I'm trans. Or to be more accurate, I want to be" is a complete giveaway. And still those gullible sycophants rushed to praise him.

Expand full comment
author

I know. It might be one of the funniest things to have happened in this debate. Sam Smith's tattoo still reigns supreme though.

Expand full comment

Even more truthful would have been “or to be more accurate, I wish I were”

Expand full comment

Nick I missed a trick with my piss take comment above about him pleading guilty or not guilty. "I am Trans your Honour" should ideally have read "I want to be Trans" - I spat my tea out. Such a pitiful plea, I want to be a man who dresses like a woman and be medicalised and undergo surgery. Such aspiration.

Expand full comment
Apr 6, 2022·edited Apr 6, 2022

Oh I doubt he's 'brave' enough for surgery. My guess is his version of trans is restricted to wearing lippy and suspenders once a month while inhaling poppers and admiring himself in the mirror. It's remarkably easy for those previously categorised as transvestite to find themselves on the transition train. I have a friend who just liked to wear women's clothes now and again. Went to a private clinic and was put on oestrogen. Thankfully he saw sense before it was too late. This was 20 years ago, probably even worse now.

Expand full comment

He wants to be trans in an attempt to shield him from the valid criticism coming his way. “Oh he wants to be trans, let’s forgive him for his multiple failings and abject dishonesty, leaving the scene of an accident and generally being a shit person.”

Expand full comment

Oh yes I get that part, i've read all the stuff about him. My guess he's AGP if anything and using that as 'trans' to, as you say, get out of trouble. My suspicion is that there's some evidence of dressing up activity that he doesn't want publicised and claiming transhood is a preemptive strike.

Expand full comment

Claiming he "wants to be trans" and in a single sentence highlights how baseless the argument is that "trans is innate" - the issue of conversion therapy is only relevant surely to something that is, and attempts are made to convert them to something that isn't. Trans isn't a thing do you agree? It is a deviant belief or feeling and disgusting activists are seeking that children with normal feelings as they grow up and enter puberty are "affirmed."

Expand full comment

Totally agree. It's annoying that the media is using the misnomer of 'conversion therapy' which of course was an abomination re. gay rights. So much abuse of language and, as you say, basic principles of existence. TBH I was also quite lazy in my understanding of the trans debate until recently. It's essential to do the work and get to the heart of this which requires some effort of course., which too many in public life don't bother to do. Exulanisc is good too, she's on Odysee now having been banned from Youtube. Stonewall have a lot to answer for.

Expand full comment

A terrific summary. Now all the dirt on Wallis is coming out, he's going to wish he'd STFU, like a good girl.

Expand full comment

Or boy!

Expand full comment

Yes but he is trans, like god it forgives all and everything

Expand full comment

Trans! And the dirt is gone!

Expand full comment
Apr 5, 2022Liked by Graham Linehan

That's a Moley Photoshop idea if ever I head one!

Expand full comment

Whats that ole amnesty international saying.....I am who I say I am

Expand full comment

Transwashing removes all sins.

Expand full comment

But isn’t it part of the sacred journey of becoming whole? A man said that who I have no respect for or his fairytale beliefs.

Expand full comment

The only ideology where you can become whole with bits missing

Expand full comment

Nice play on words, but we all know what a tiny percentage actually have surgery to remove their penis

Expand full comment
author

Very nice play on words! But yes, i don't think Wallis's penis is going anywhere. Except possibly to Thailand with him attached.

Expand full comment

Lmao I heard out of 6 thousand with GRCs, only something like 400 of those peen inversions have taken place in the UK. Don't quote me on those stats!

Expand full comment

We have a former "independent" gubernatorial candidate here in Maine who was recently arrested for child porn. I'm sure he has no idea how such images got onto his computer.

Expand full comment

Another one for Private Eye

Expand full comment

Jamie Wallis has already been featured in Private Eye!

Expand full comment

They did pretty good coverage when he was (briefly) a councillor & of his highly suspect PhD.

Expand full comment

He wasn't 'trans' then. Will they get over themselves and actually report on a trans person who is not a paragon of virtue? I expect the fact he's a Tory doing this might make them less squeamish. Not really impressed by Private Eye. A few cartoons doesn't make up for the fact they have completely ignored what is happening to children. They even have a correspondent (Phil Hammond) who is a paediatrician. This (over-reach of Civil Service, undue influence of lobby groups, possible financial incentives for parties to support trans issues, horrible bullying in publishing) should be right up their alley. So what's stopping them? Their middle class woke children?

Expand full comment

Shocked, I am SHOCKED that a con artist would claim transgender privileges to escape accountability. SHOCKED, I tell you

Expand full comment

Lol it’s a Scottish / British thing “ spank my arse and call me Susan “ means no shit Sherlock , think it maybe from monty python , on the other hand I may just have made it up !! 🤣

Expand full comment
Apr 6, 2022·edited Apr 6, 2022

As an American, the version that I'm familiar with is "well, spank my ass and call me Sally" :)

Expand full comment

Woah. So it goes deeper. This fucker needs deselecting

Expand full comment

How did he get selected? Pure evil

Expand full comment

I don’t think the Tories thought they had a hope of winning. And I suspect the local party is moribund & just happy to have someone under 60 with a pulse.

Expand full comment

More to the point, how desperate were his constituents to vote for such a troubled soul?

Expand full comment

I'd love to see him pitch on Dragon's Den. It would be the only episode they film in a sewer.

Expand full comment

Who are we meant to vote for now? Conservatives have too many pervs on board

Expand full comment

What a great question! Remember, you are under no obligation to vote, nor can anyone tell you not to spoil a ballot. The key thing is to MAKE SURE that when Labour loses badly, they know exactly why. Left/liberal parties in the west will usually remember how to "punch the hippies" after enough time in the wilderness.

Expand full comment
Comment deleted
Expand full comment

Just listened to Boris who now seems to be saying the right thing - really nice to see the lovely Daly Thompson tweet him back in support. He has supported women for ages - as has Duncan B who refused to allow men in the women’s changing rooms at his gyms

Expand full comment