For Jesse, a gift of gifs! First of all, Jesse… …but also… How LGBT+ LibDems responded to safeguarding concerns surrounding Challenor The new priest class doing what it does. In Scotland, this person is a woman. A woman, and therefore entitled to the safe spaces, rape crisis centres, changing rooms, sports and everything else women once called their own.
With regard to the murderer teenager: I clicked on the DailyMail article, and after reading the entire deeply sad, enraging article, I read the comments.
The comments are full of women talking about their experiences with the same thing. I believe the very first comment is a woman saying her boyfriend broke her arm in two places, so she reported him. They arrested him, then released him without pressing charges, took him back to their shared home, to which she had just returned from the hospital, and shook hands with him in front of her door after dropping him off. She lost all trust in police after that.
Another woman moved towns because of a stalker. And so forth.
I have reported a rape to the police exactly twice and let me tell you...never again. My experiences with what it means to report rape and domestic violence to the police have been totally abject, to say the least. After the first time, when I was in college, in which I detailed being dragged along while very drunk by a very large and much older man and placed into a cab, I was told “don’t go home with someone unless you want that to happen,” and also, “for such a smart girl you did a stupid, stupid thing.” The officer was in shock from having had to shoot a mentally ill man in the woods recently, and told me about this while complaining how tough his job was and how long their days were. Then he told me, “even if there is cervical bruising, the DA’s just going to kick it back” and also “get to know someone first next time.” I had asked for a female officer to report to, but there was none available due to the paperwork after the “incident in the woods.” So that was my first experience of reporting rape.
My second experience of reporting rape occurred because I told the rapist- who had briefly been my boyfriend- that I would have rather died than have had this happen to me again (these two occasions are far from the only times- unfortunately a number of men have done this to me- and also they were not simply two occasions, either...partner rapists like to rape their victims over and over again). My former abuser decided this was a suicide and sent a police officer to my house for a welfare check; otherwise, I would never have reported this. I suppose he would have felt guilty to have another woman’s death on his hands. I remember him telling me how an ex-gf had killed herself and called him the night she did it, but he had “missed her call,” and he’d felt forever guilty since. I don’t think he missed her call on accident- I think he dodged her call- and I don’t think he’s felt forever guilty since because he missed a call. He mentioned how she “had another boyfriend” at that point anyway, and I can’t help but think it’s his way of telling himself she must have been all right, to have another boyfriend; and also, since men like him think other men behave in the same ways, who know what the new boyfriend did to her, right? See? Not his fault at all.
This same man- who also abused me (he really had the great guy who wants to find a loving partner act down well- had been committed to a mental hospital years earlier for stalking his ex-wife, breaking into her house, and ripping off her steering wheel as she tried to drive away; this was expunged from his record. After what he did to me, he went on to attack many more women- acquaintances and strangers- and sexually abuse many more women in short-lived relationships, so I have no doubt of what he did to the woman who killed herself). I suppose he called the police when I said that to him because jeez, how much guilt can a guy bear, right? And he knew nothing would come of it even if I did report him. Men like him know they never go to jail.
The sickest part is he had written this romantic poetry for the woman who killed herself, after...so sad and emo about the whole thing, portraying her as sad with him despite their passionate relationship (describing sex in detail- despite his being an absolutely horrible lover- was the most important thing to him, because he was a sexual narcissist), as if she were contending with some inner demons before they met. I have no doubt he abused her, too.
I reported him to the officer. My trauma was apparent. He had told the officer in advance that I was doing something he was doing (trying to stalk my friends on Facebook). I told him the veracity of my claims and the falsity of his would be easily verifiable, and they were welcome to check my account. I was distraught and the officer clearly believed me. He told me his advice was “never, ever let this guy back in your life,” and he also told me in front of my friend, who had come over to supper me- she is a lawyer- that I should tell people about him in the community. I said I was not “telling people about him or anything” (which could be perceived as harassment and slander), and he said “you do what you have to do.” And then left. He seemed in an extreme hurry to leave.
The case went nowhere of course. Of course he did it again. (He used to try to find me if I were ever out, which was rare...but he successfully lured me to see him with the promise of an apology...I had PTSD and was convinced that if he simply apologized my trauma would disappear. He used this to do it again). In the end I was able to get away from him.
I had an AGP trans roommate at this time who was...problematic in his beliefs, but a very sweet person. I believe he both cared about me very much, and also realized that what he was doing was sexist (I cannot help but believe that), so he went out of his way to warn people in the community about my abuser, which probably saved quite a few women, so I’m grateful for that. It didn’t stop my abuser from insinuating himself into multiple social justice circles, including those that combated violence against women. I think he probably got close to and fooled vulnerable women who had already been victimized and thus were easier to fool, in this way. It also provided him cover for his activities, via building a sterling reputation. He founded a literary magazine and was extremely active.
These men always give themselves away with creepy red flag behaviors, though now that these behaviors are being celebrated by liberals- interest in BDSM, being pro-prostitution, etc- it’s much harder to see, which is the point of normalizing sexual abuse and violence against women. Like most liberals, he’s talking out of one side of his mouth while doing something else. This cognitive dissonance among liberals and among liberal feminists- the women most confused by this, the victims of this- was apparent during #MeToo. It’s difficult to be against rape and against trafficking when you’re celebrating facsimiles of them, and encouraging women to enjoy and celebrate said facsimiles. Again, that’s the point.
Anyway, after he was outed by several women post-MeToo, he got canceled in the community. Never arrested of course. I am not going to hound his other victims. I had a breakdown after what he did to me, and this- along with the fact that I’ve been raped before- would be used against me. They would say I “cried rape” frequently. He used that term with me when I confronted him. This was a warning that he knew exactly what they’d say and it would be easy to get them started down that road by using those words. This is what rape myths do and how they sustain rape culture.
It does not matter if SVU detectives know this. Some of them are very good, much better than the beat cops I dealt with. Juries know rape myths, and prosecutors know that. They will not put a case with a confession on trial if the victim is a “bad victim.” This was heard by a friend of mine out of a DA’s mouth. They have their careers on the line. They won’t do prosecute a case in which there isn’t a confession or in which there is but the victim is a junkie, sex worker, undocumented, mentally ill, has a history of sexual violence and has reported on it (because even though prosecutors know that there are many women who get raped many times- the data is clear about how a first rape makes women more vulnerable to rape again- they know juries don’t know this and that “attention-seeking woman who cries rape” is what juries will believe), and so on: all “bad victims,” and also the victims that these embedded serial predators are most likely to pick. Women raped by men they know also make bad victims in the absence of a confession, a category which comprises the majority of adult female rape victims.
My first ever experience of a sexual relationship was with an older man when I was a teenager. He abused me, but I didn’t recognize how he used me sexually as abuse, so when he violently raped me, and acted like it was normal, I was confused. I think this relationship set the stage for everything that happened to me after- domestic violence, rape by other men as a young woman, having trouble being careful, and even, at age 32, when I went looking for a partner because I wanted children (after years of mainly avoiding relationships for obvious reasons), being completely fooled by someone who on paper seemed perfect for me; someone who easily saw my vulnerable and was both disturbed and very excited by my history, which I had told no one before, but I was very vulnerable when I met him. I failed to see red flags, and any good man would have been there for me, but likely would not have dated me, would have been my friend and suggested I seek therapy because obviously I was ready to talk about things that happened to me, but was maybe not ready for a relationship until I was a bit less vulnerable and a bit more certain what I wanted. It was just very unfortunate that instead of a good man, I met that man. Like winning the “anti-lottery,” as my partner since then put it. It has had catastrophic effects on my life and health and eventually also on my subsequent relationship with a loving man.
What he did to me was almost exactly the same as what was done to me when I was seventeen. It took it happening that many times; and it took it happening again when I thought I “wasn’t looking for it” (because I’d blamed myself for it before, as you do), and realizing this has never been my fault but that I needed to understand what was going on, my own vulnerability and how to protect myself- it took half my life to realize I was abused and raped as a teenager. It took me a very long time to understand you can be raped by someone you’re in a “relationship” with; it took me much longer to understand the whole “relationship” as not really a relationship at all, but a man sexually abusing a woman or, when I was younger, a child.
I learned about grooming, and I learned about how these men operate. I did a tremendous amount of research into dark areas that are just being researched and not widely published. I put together the pieces.
I now understand these men, and spot them easily and everywhere. This is not paranoia. I also understand good men, and also spot them easily and everywhere. Learning what I have has been empowering in the true sense of the word. I’m trying to learn how to undo all the damage caused by the abusers now.
My point and the connection to the tragic case of the teenager who even played her killed’s unhinged messages about how unhinged he was and how he didn’t know what he might do, and the police ignoring that and dismissing that as a real threat, is that this is everywhere: men like this- who compulsively abuse women and children- but there are way more men who compulsively abuse adult women- they’re everywhere, and the public is unaware of and excuses them, because that’s the way it runs. Society has been set up to deny their existence and excuse them, because the prop up the larger systemic patriarchal abuses of women, which seek to do exactly what these men are doing; the entire society has been built to shelter these men, because so many highly successful men are also like this. Therefore, rape myths are designed to protect men like this.
The out of control types benefit from the smooth groomers. The man who abused me as a teenager had groomed his whole community to protect him, including his victims, mostly vulnerable friends of his wife such as sex workers, undocumented immigrants and very young, wayward women. These were friends of hers- she’s a self-proclaimed “radical feminist witch” with a candles-and-sage type Wiccan shop from which she makes her money- and he was raping them; and the entire community rallied around him, and she defended him. Why? He was so successful at his grooming.
I also have an insight into how these men are. I have confronted many of them and had long email conversations with them. I am aware of both their feints and their urge to confession, and also I understand their psychology.
If it’s not hard for me to understand, once I put the pieces together, why is it so hard for police and others who should be trained professionals to understand? Also, we do need to be teaching people about these guys. Society needs to understand and avoid them. There are many men for whom “relationships” with adult women (and adult men, in the case of gay men) is actually about grooming a victim for abuse. These groomers function exactly like child predators. We just don’t notice them because we think relationships between consenting adults are just that.
Some of them use physical violence. Many more just use emotional and sexual violence. There are many abusers for whom sexual violence is their primary method of domestic abuse. Other abusers- emotional, financial, coercive and controlling, physical, stalkers- they are also of the same mentality, and usually will sometimes sexually abuse, as well. Those who work with DV victims are well aware of this.
But there are a fairly large number of men like this who are mainly sexual predators and for whom the sexual abuse of a victim they’re gaslighting and coercing is their main thrill. They may do this long-term to one person, or to many people in short-lived flings or even one-night stands. They are often predatory and opportunistic. They’ll sometimes mix up their rapes and try it on with strangers or acquaintances, too, which is harder and also harder to get away with long-term, and may be their downfall, although again, we experience so much of this in our lives (I’ve also experienced many attempted rapes and casual groping and sexual menacing and so on from many men in many venues) we usually brush it off and get on with things.
Some of these men have a particular modus operandi they more or less stick to. They’ll lure women to rape them in a specific way, or they have a specific modus operandi of partner abuse.
I don’t know if sexual abusers differ all that much except in whether they’re organized or disorganized and how good they are at grooming. Groomers- whatever the purpose of their grooming- need to be widely researched. Many of them are grooming for sexual purposes. Of course the ultimate point of all grooming is total control over another person or over a large number of people. Again, the successful ones can groom whole communities. The disorganized ones like the woman’s killer above benefit from the rape myths generated to protect the successful ones.
I guess my overall point is that my experiences, though horrifying, are not uncommon and are becoming more common, as young women are being groomed by porn culture to be made vulnerable to such abuse (just as I was conditioned by my own early abuse), and to not understand it as abuse for a long time, if ever (which doesn’t mean they aren’t suffering and on the contrary often means they’re suffering more), and are experiencing sexual abuse at the hands of their male peers with more frequency than girls did in the past, because boys are being groomed to be rapists, stalkers, sexual narcissist and abusers, and also sexually and emotionally dysfunctional and mentally ill, as well as sexually violent and dangerous; so my experiences will unfortunately become more frequent for younger women, I think.
And young women with a good head on their shoulders like that poor girl, who recognized this guy was bad news immediately and reunited with her previous boyfriend and cut him off, well, they are in danger of being killed anyway for their brief lapse in judgment; and even just being outside or at a party or having a social life young women are risking being stalked or attacked, so they will also have no recourse, despite being “good victims.” How many good victims- victims who have never met or had a dalliance with their abusers- have to be raped or killed before we decide to do something about this problem?
But since we’re grooming all young girls to become a readily available pool of a contemptible underclass of women known as “bad victims,” we’ll lament that it’s society’s downfall, say it’s not the guys’ fault either, which in some cases will be true, so we’ll let the groomers, the true predators, off the hook as well.
These predatory groomer guys are also some of the men who run the world. We mustn’t forget that.
Apologies for any typos. I wrote this on my phone, I’m tired, and even though I’m used to it at this point it’s still hard to talk about this stuff.
I’m 37, for context; an “older millennial.” The tradition of drugging women or getting them drunk, or hunting for drunk women, in college and on the young people’s social scene, has been going on for the whole time I’ve been an adult; and of course these groomer guys have always been around.
I’ve started having a stiff drink before reading these posts! Just horrendous!
And you will need one afterwards too!
The satire with Moley! Oh joy! I love it, but daren't share it. :-D
I've just shared it on Twitter. Two people have asked 'if it is real' already... Ouch!
Well I use this pseudonym on Twitter, so I saw your tweet and retweeted it. Couldn't help myself. ;-)
Naughty!!
You know, looking at some comments, I'm thinking it be be a little too realistic for comfort!
Too mild for reality I reckon!
Ha! Yes, this is also true lately!
(Part one of comment)
Trigger warning:
With regard to the murderer teenager: I clicked on the DailyMail article, and after reading the entire deeply sad, enraging article, I read the comments.
The comments are full of women talking about their experiences with the same thing. I believe the very first comment is a woman saying her boyfriend broke her arm in two places, so she reported him. They arrested him, then released him without pressing charges, took him back to their shared home, to which she had just returned from the hospital, and shook hands with him in front of her door after dropping him off. She lost all trust in police after that.
Another woman moved towns because of a stalker. And so forth.
I have reported a rape to the police exactly twice and let me tell you...never again. My experiences with what it means to report rape and domestic violence to the police have been totally abject, to say the least. After the first time, when I was in college, in which I detailed being dragged along while very drunk by a very large and much older man and placed into a cab, I was told “don’t go home with someone unless you want that to happen,” and also, “for such a smart girl you did a stupid, stupid thing.” The officer was in shock from having had to shoot a mentally ill man in the woods recently, and told me about this while complaining how tough his job was and how long their days were. Then he told me, “even if there is cervical bruising, the DA’s just going to kick it back” and also “get to know someone first next time.” I had asked for a female officer to report to, but there was none available due to the paperwork after the “incident in the woods.” So that was my first experience of reporting rape.
My second experience of reporting rape occurred because I told the rapist- who had briefly been my boyfriend- that I would have rather died than have had this happen to me again (these two occasions are far from the only times- unfortunately a number of men have done this to me- and also they were not simply two occasions, either...partner rapists like to rape their victims over and over again). My former abuser decided this was a suicide and sent a police officer to my house for a welfare check; otherwise, I would never have reported this. I suppose he would have felt guilty to have another woman’s death on his hands. I remember him telling me how an ex-gf had killed herself and called him the night she did it, but he had “missed her call,” and he’d felt forever guilty since. I don’t think he missed her call on accident- I think he dodged her call- and I don’t think he’s felt forever guilty since because he missed a call. He mentioned how she “had another boyfriend” at that point anyway, and I can’t help but think it’s his way of telling himself she must have been all right, to have another boyfriend; and also, since men like him think other men behave in the same ways, who know what the new boyfriend did to her, right? See? Not his fault at all.
This same man- who also abused me (he really had the great guy who wants to find a loving partner act down well- had been committed to a mental hospital years earlier for stalking his ex-wife, breaking into her house, and ripping off her steering wheel as she tried to drive away; this was expunged from his record. After what he did to me, he went on to attack many more women- acquaintances and strangers- and sexually abuse many more women in short-lived relationships, so I have no doubt of what he did to the woman who killed herself). I suppose he called the police when I said that to him because jeez, how much guilt can a guy bear, right? And he knew nothing would come of it even if I did report him. Men like him know they never go to jail.
The sickest part is he had written this romantic poetry for the woman who killed herself, after...so sad and emo about the whole thing, portraying her as sad with him despite their passionate relationship (describing sex in detail- despite his being an absolutely horrible lover- was the most important thing to him, because he was a sexual narcissist), as if she were contending with some inner demons before they met. I have no doubt he abused her, too.
I reported him to the officer. My trauma was apparent. He had told the officer in advance that I was doing something he was doing (trying to stalk my friends on Facebook). I told him the veracity of my claims and the falsity of his would be easily verifiable, and they were welcome to check my account. I was distraught and the officer clearly believed me. He told me his advice was “never, ever let this guy back in your life,” and he also told me in front of my friend, who had come over to supper me- she is a lawyer- that I should tell people about him in the community. I said I was not “telling people about him or anything” (which could be perceived as harassment and slander), and he said “you do what you have to do.” And then left. He seemed in an extreme hurry to leave.
The case went nowhere of course. Of course he did it again. (He used to try to find me if I were ever out, which was rare...but he successfully lured me to see him with the promise of an apology...I had PTSD and was convinced that if he simply apologized my trauma would disappear. He used this to do it again). In the end I was able to get away from him.
I had an AGP trans roommate at this time who was...problematic in his beliefs, but a very sweet person. I believe he both cared about me very much, and also realized that what he was doing was sexist (I cannot help but believe that), so he went out of his way to warn people in the community about my abuser, which probably saved quite a few women, so I’m grateful for that. It didn’t stop my abuser from insinuating himself into multiple social justice circles, including those that combated violence against women. I think he probably got close to and fooled vulnerable women who had already been victimized and thus were easier to fool, in this way. It also provided him cover for his activities, via building a sterling reputation. He founded a literary magazine and was extremely active.
(Part two of comment)
These men always give themselves away with creepy red flag behaviors, though now that these behaviors are being celebrated by liberals- interest in BDSM, being pro-prostitution, etc- it’s much harder to see, which is the point of normalizing sexual abuse and violence against women. Like most liberals, he’s talking out of one side of his mouth while doing something else. This cognitive dissonance among liberals and among liberal feminists- the women most confused by this, the victims of this- was apparent during #MeToo. It’s difficult to be against rape and against trafficking when you’re celebrating facsimiles of them, and encouraging women to enjoy and celebrate said facsimiles. Again, that’s the point.
Anyway, after he was outed by several women post-MeToo, he got canceled in the community. Never arrested of course. I am not going to hound his other victims. I had a breakdown after what he did to me, and this- along with the fact that I’ve been raped before- would be used against me. They would say I “cried rape” frequently. He used that term with me when I confronted him. This was a warning that he knew exactly what they’d say and it would be easy to get them started down that road by using those words. This is what rape myths do and how they sustain rape culture.
It does not matter if SVU detectives know this. Some of them are very good, much better than the beat cops I dealt with. Juries know rape myths, and prosecutors know that. They will not put a case with a confession on trial if the victim is a “bad victim.” This was heard by a friend of mine out of a DA’s mouth. They have their careers on the line. They won’t do prosecute a case in which there isn’t a confession or in which there is but the victim is a junkie, sex worker, undocumented, mentally ill, has a history of sexual violence and has reported on it (because even though prosecutors know that there are many women who get raped many times- the data is clear about how a first rape makes women more vulnerable to rape again- they know juries don’t know this and that “attention-seeking woman who cries rape” is what juries will believe), and so on: all “bad victims,” and also the victims that these embedded serial predators are most likely to pick. Women raped by men they know also make bad victims in the absence of a confession, a category which comprises the majority of adult female rape victims.
My first ever experience of a sexual relationship was with an older man when I was a teenager. He abused me, but I didn’t recognize how he used me sexually as abuse, so when he violently raped me, and acted like it was normal, I was confused. I think this relationship set the stage for everything that happened to me after- domestic violence, rape by other men as a young woman, having trouble being careful, and even, at age 32, when I went looking for a partner because I wanted children (after years of mainly avoiding relationships for obvious reasons), being completely fooled by someone who on paper seemed perfect for me; someone who easily saw my vulnerable and was both disturbed and very excited by my history, which I had told no one before, but I was very vulnerable when I met him. I failed to see red flags, and any good man would have been there for me, but likely would not have dated me, would have been my friend and suggested I seek therapy because obviously I was ready to talk about things that happened to me, but was maybe not ready for a relationship until I was a bit less vulnerable and a bit more certain what I wanted. It was just very unfortunate that instead of a good man, I met that man. Like winning the “anti-lottery,” as my partner since then put it. It has had catastrophic effects on my life and health and eventually also on my subsequent relationship with a loving man.
What he did to me was almost exactly the same as what was done to me when I was seventeen. It took it happening that many times; and it took it happening again when I thought I “wasn’t looking for it” (because I’d blamed myself for it before, as you do), and realizing this has never been my fault but that I needed to understand what was going on, my own vulnerability and how to protect myself- it took half my life to realize I was abused and raped as a teenager. It took me a very long time to understand you can be raped by someone you’re in a “relationship” with; it took me much longer to understand the whole “relationship” as not really a relationship at all, but a man sexually abusing a woman or, when I was younger, a child.
I learned about grooming, and I learned about how these men operate. I did a tremendous amount of research into dark areas that are just being researched and not widely published. I put together the pieces.
I now understand these men, and spot them easily and everywhere. This is not paranoia. I also understand good men, and also spot them easily and everywhere. Learning what I have has been empowering in the true sense of the word. I’m trying to learn how to undo all the damage caused by the abusers now.
My point and the connection to the tragic case of the teenager who even played her killed’s unhinged messages about how unhinged he was and how he didn’t know what he might do, and the police ignoring that and dismissing that as a real threat, is that this is everywhere: men like this- who compulsively abuse women and children- but there are way more men who compulsively abuse adult women- they’re everywhere, and the public is unaware of and excuses them, because that’s the way it runs. Society has been set up to deny their existence and excuse them, because the prop up the larger systemic patriarchal abuses of women, which seek to do exactly what these men are doing; the entire society has been built to shelter these men, because so many highly successful men are also like this. Therefore, rape myths are designed to protect men like this.
The out of control types benefit from the smooth groomers. The man who abused me as a teenager had groomed his whole community to protect him, including his victims, mostly vulnerable friends of his wife such as sex workers, undocumented immigrants and very young, wayward women. These were friends of hers- she’s a self-proclaimed “radical feminist witch” with a candles-and-sage type Wiccan shop from which she makes her money- and he was raping them; and the entire community rallied around him, and she defended him. Why? He was so successful at his grooming.
I also have an insight into how these men are. I have confronted many of them and had long email conversations with them. I am aware of both their feints and their urge to confession, and also I understand their psychology.
If it’s not hard for me to understand, once I put the pieces together, why is it so hard for police and others who should be trained professionals to understand? Also, we do need to be teaching people about these guys. Society needs to understand and avoid them. There are many men for whom “relationships” with adult women (and adult men, in the case of gay men) is actually about grooming a victim for abuse. These groomers function exactly like child predators. We just don’t notice them because we think relationships between consenting adults are just that.
(Part three of comment)
Some of them use physical violence. Many more just use emotional and sexual violence. There are many abusers for whom sexual violence is their primary method of domestic abuse. Other abusers- emotional, financial, coercive and controlling, physical, stalkers- they are also of the same mentality, and usually will sometimes sexually abuse, as well. Those who work with DV victims are well aware of this.
But there are a fairly large number of men like this who are mainly sexual predators and for whom the sexual abuse of a victim they’re gaslighting and coercing is their main thrill. They may do this long-term to one person, or to many people in short-lived flings or even one-night stands. They are often predatory and opportunistic. They’ll sometimes mix up their rapes and try it on with strangers or acquaintances, too, which is harder and also harder to get away with long-term, and may be their downfall, although again, we experience so much of this in our lives (I’ve also experienced many attempted rapes and casual groping and sexual menacing and so on from many men in many venues) we usually brush it off and get on with things.
Some of these men have a particular modus operandi they more or less stick to. They’ll lure women to rape them in a specific way, or they have a specific modus operandi of partner abuse.
I don’t know if sexual abusers differ all that much except in whether they’re organized or disorganized and how good they are at grooming. Groomers- whatever the purpose of their grooming- need to be widely researched. Many of them are grooming for sexual purposes. Of course the ultimate point of all grooming is total control over another person or over a large number of people. Again, the successful ones can groom whole communities. The disorganized ones like the woman’s killer above benefit from the rape myths generated to protect the successful ones.
I guess my overall point is that my experiences, though horrifying, are not uncommon and are becoming more common, as young women are being groomed by porn culture to be made vulnerable to such abuse (just as I was conditioned by my own early abuse), and to not understand it as abuse for a long time, if ever (which doesn’t mean they aren’t suffering and on the contrary often means they’re suffering more), and are experiencing sexual abuse at the hands of their male peers with more frequency than girls did in the past, because boys are being groomed to be rapists, stalkers, sexual narcissist and abusers, and also sexually and emotionally dysfunctional and mentally ill, as well as sexually violent and dangerous; so my experiences will unfortunately become more frequent for younger women, I think.
And young women with a good head on their shoulders like that poor girl, who recognized this guy was bad news immediately and reunited with her previous boyfriend and cut him off, well, they are in danger of being killed anyway for their brief lapse in judgment; and even just being outside or at a party or having a social life young women are risking being stalked or attacked, so they will also have no recourse, despite being “good victims.” How many good victims- victims who have never met or had a dalliance with their abusers- have to be raped or killed before we decide to do something about this problem?
But since we’re grooming all young girls to become a readily available pool of a contemptible underclass of women known as “bad victims,” we’ll lament that it’s society’s downfall, say it’s not the guys’ fault either, which in some cases will be true, so we’ll let the groomers, the true predators, off the hook as well.
These predatory groomer guys are also some of the men who run the world. We mustn’t forget that.
Apologies for any typos. I wrote this on my phone, I’m tired, and even though I’m used to it at this point it’s still hard to talk about this stuff.
I’m 37, for context; an “older millennial.” The tradition of drugging women or getting them drunk, or hunting for drunk women, in college and on the young people’s social scene, has been going on for the whole time I’ve been an adult; and of course these groomer guys have always been around.
Who is this 'Moley' person? He/she/thems/Zers seems to get everywhere lately...