Private Eye had the cheek to call me ‘unhinged’ today, misrepresenting my opinions on such figures as John Money and Jacob Breslow as a sort of Tourette’s where I’m calling everyone a ‘nonce’. I wrote to Ian Hislop in 2019, once again foolishly thinking he might care about women’s rights or even what was happening to me, asking him to look into ‘Stephanie’ Hayden,
Bring up trans widows, the ex-wives of suddenly crossdressing men, and they'll devolve into derogatory vilification of women, revealing exactly how sexist and unhinged THEY ARE. I believe I'm the only person in the world keeping data on the endings of marriages from the wives' perspectives. Of 48 women's responses to my survey, 20 Questions to Ask a Trans Widow, fully half of us were vilified and defamed publicly after we ended the relationship. A much larger segment lost friends who threw their support with the narcissistically abused ex. Of 30 children born to us, 6 (probably more, there's some underreporting) of them had repeated suicidal ideation, and 3 of those did attempt to kill themselves, requiring hospitalizations. Some of the children are too young at this point to know if they might later drift into this grief and depression. Most of us lived for a time below the poverty level.
The "therapists" sanction our ex-husbands' narcissistic behavior, sometimes inserting themselves in to the legal custody battle, as my ex's diagnosing psychologist did. I was made responsible for both his temporary detransition and his subsequent decision to get the surgeries and "live full time as a woman." Stay calm, use logic and keep yourselves well by spending time in nature.
It should read "narcissistically abusive ex, at the end of the 6th line. Apologies. I'm dealing with tmj, the clenched jaw problem, just realized its built up over these 30 years since my discovery of his diaries, and the realization that his crossdressing went back to the middle of my second pregnancy.
It's shocking that there is no data on this. Anecdotally a friend told me about her stepdaughter, married to a cross dresser, doesn't claim to be a woman or trans, just a TV. Daughter in early 20s recently tried to take her own life and said it was because of her dad's cross dressing. Daughter is married and outwardly successful with a degree and good job etc but this is ripping her apart. I wonder what support she'll get from the NHS psych team if she raises her AGP dad as the source of her distress.
If you think it may help her, put her in touch with me through the contact form at uteheggengrasswidow.wordpress.com, my blog. She's not alone. There's a (Jungian?) therapist over in the UK, (I assume, since you reference the NHS) named Bob Withers, and he'd be a good place to start. He may know others who don't participate in the woo. (probably not through the NHS) She may have witnessed sexual fetish or been pulled into some coerced role play, even if seemingly innocent, could be psychologically damaging. She may have sensed female erasure at a tender age. These men need to know in certain terms that they are transgressing boundaries. She may benefit from the wellness movements on my channel, Trans Widow Ute Heggen, so I will link to a clip. Just recently I realized I've been clenching my jaw for 31 years, almost to the date, as exactly this month back then I found my husband's 3 crossdressing diaries and realized it went back to when I was pregnant with our second child. So, a man puts on a dress (he must have done it at work or in the "ladies loo" in the gay bars he frequented) and leaves his toddler and pregnant wife in a working class flat in the middle of Brooklyn, no cell phones, no beeper to get in touch if I or our son were coming down with something. The psychopathy runs deep.
Thanks so much. I lead now, as the collector of data, a group of over 50 trans widows. I have 48 of them with some data on their experiences, and waiting for survey results of about 4. It takes a great deal of courage, even to reach out to me, as trans widows have been trolled, vilified and defamed, and about 1/3 of the time, our crossdressing husbands also assaulted us before we got out. With the complete approval of the psychological field.
Ute I don’t often follow up your posts as I have no experience in this area at all so my comments are pretty useless but believe me I admire all that you are doing and I am sure this has been a colossal strain. Must add that I would have been out the door with my children if I ever even suspected that my husband had a fetish for being a woman. He didn’t.
Thanks! As I passed the 31 year anniversary mark for the day I found Neddy's 3 crossdressing diaries, I realized I have the clenched jaw problem of temporomandibular jaw pain. I'm going to start asking my trans widows about the actual physical manifestations of the stress, as there probably are patterns, again, never before documented by "the professionals." A pillow change has made a big difference! Who knows, perhaps children who ideate the "wrong body" because of the indoctrination in school can get a new pillow from Mom and Dad, a magic pillow, that relieves all fantasies and makes bad dreams go away. Works for me! Here's another scintillating tidbit from the report I made on charlatan "sexologist" for using uncertified "therapists" for her 1 appointment diagnoses. I'll never know if they opened a case, of course: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWC1lOq5rYc&t=1s
Yes, exactly what I was thinking (“patronising twat”). Especially his saying “my suspicion that the Trans/TERF debate is not quite as important as those involved in it believe” -- translation: “my suspicion is that women’s and lesbian/gay rights, and the bodily integrity of children and young people is not quite as important as those involved in it believe.” Fuck you Ian Hislop.
I’m a wee bit too old school to say “Fuck you Ian Hislop”. But I’m going to say it anyway so “Fuck you Ian Hislop” an you’re not as clever as you think you are either.
Graham, thank you a thousand times from the bottom of my heart for everything you do to protect women and children. History will celebrate you as a hero. The cowards will be a footnote!
You’re nearly out of this Graham. Hold strong. The atmosphere has changed so much in the two years I’ve been involved. What we’re seeing is the last desperate lashing out of the gender cult as they realise that their empire is collapsing. Your comedy set gave me a good laugh out loud moment which is a sign of quality - keep at it.
Ian Hislop likes to present himself as some Swiftian satirist/Fearless truth-teller/Thorn in the side of the establishment etc (and other moth-eaten old cliches) when in reality he would have shat his pants at the idea of going up against the Gender Ideology bloc at the BBC. Such disobedience would have meant no more presenting jobs.
When Gender ideology finally loses its grip and people are unafraid to talk openly, people like Hislop will be documented as cowards. Establishment cowards - doing what's expected of them by those in power. That'll be his legacy.
Yup. Men in dresses claiming to be literal women, the idea of men giving birth and Kier Starmer pretending women have penises should have been a gift to satirists. But here we are. Ian is a coward who knows on which side his bread is buttered.
In the Court of the Glasgow Bus Stop which I attend regularly and convened as usual this morning the verdict was the SNP and the Greens are toast - and pretty scabby toast at that. The opinions on the rest of the politicians are still under consideration but not promising. People on the street acting on their instinct about what is right and decent can often cut through the crap to see what’s going on. It may take them longer and with more simplistic explanations but they are not going to look at a man in drag and think he’s a woman. Widow Twanky is still just pantomime.
It’s the easiest thing in the world to find out the truth of gender ideology / Queer Theory and investigate the people and the money behind it all. It’s the easiest thing to see the misogyny, the homophobia and the sexualisation and grooming of children. All it takes is open ears, eyes and a questioning mind, rather than one which just swallows the hype. And it’s infuriating that there are so many closed minded cowards.
I find it just as frustrating when people ostensibly on 'our' side want to assign blame to their favorite boogeyman (left, right, commies, feminists, gays, etc) rather than look at the facts as have been painstakingly assembled over the last decade. So many closed minded cowards all over the place.
I can understand people being afraid to speak up but when you've made a career in 'telling it like it is' it really is desperately cowardly to pretend not to see. Thank you for all you do. You were always a comedy hero, now you're just a hero
I commented in the Mail about how Grahams obnoxious comedy should still be allowed under the guise of free speech, I made some forceful points, but think it was the ‘trans activists’ words that alerted them, I should have written Tr@ns instead, then it would probably have been printed!!
However, I will have great pleasure in writing to Private Eye to cancel my subscription!
I comment on the matter at every relevant opportunity on the DM web site. My comments are never published. AI is screening out every thing except the bland (“that is wrong” will get through - “a person with a pe* is a man” - probably not. Times is the same). But I try.
They also write about NHS x/construction/preferred bidder lanes but you do have to know to look and then look. They're often mentioned on other forums as enough of us are enough aware about rumblings behind scenes. I'm sad they let this sneery one through. Not witty or bringing down corrupt govt or business.
Out of all the excellent cartoons and articles, this one really leapt out to me. I knew about the fox bludgeoning but not about how he had flip-flopped about in his views on it all. I just assumed he had always uttered nasty things to and about anyone who tries to point out the impact of it all.
Wait what! The Jolyon Maugham article - did the Judge really say that firms were “entitled to discriminate” against people whose views they did not like? WTF.
FFS!! "Not quite as important"??? If that was Hislop's response to your letter, he hasn't done enough research - like reading Trans, by Helen Joyce or Time to Think by Hannah Barnes. He's minimising the impact of trans ideology on women, children, young people's health & bodies, the captured police, the judiciary, prisons, sport, education, the NHS, politics and all the rest.
Don't give up Graham. Keep keeping us up-to-date and well informed. I have peaked so many people, thanks to you. I will always stick up for you and intend writing to Private Eye this week.
Watch in a couple of years for the inevitable "Eye Told You So" column where they say exactly this. They did that with Savile, when the story was "everyone knew and did nothing about it", which surely makes them as bad as the rest of the establishment.
Leafletting passers by at Standing for Women in Hyde Park event on Sunday I was talking to a concerned father, who understood many of the issues. He said somewhat sadly that he’d heard you are a misogynist. Turns out this is apparently cos you disagree with some left wing feminists 🙄 . I told him you’re always mobbed at SFW events by women getting selfies 😉
Hislop is too busy purveying his own brand of comfortable irreverence to see what is really happening. He's probably afraid to look too closely - he might just see the nightmare and become horrified (unhinged?) over it like the rest of us.
"...and my suspicion that the Trans/TERF debate is not quite as important as those involved in it believe..." Really Mr Hislop? Perhaps you'd like to raise your head above the parapet and actually do some research rather than being so dismissive of the erosion of women's hard won rights and the boundaries that safeguard women and children. Also of the coercion and invasion of safe spaces for same-sex attracted persons, who funnily enough also fought hard and long for their right to these. Mr Hislop seems to be wearing the blinkers of privilege.
And of course Hislop doesn't think it's all that important. It's not his safe spaces that are being removed.
Bring up trans widows, the ex-wives of suddenly crossdressing men, and they'll devolve into derogatory vilification of women, revealing exactly how sexist and unhinged THEY ARE. I believe I'm the only person in the world keeping data on the endings of marriages from the wives' perspectives. Of 48 women's responses to my survey, 20 Questions to Ask a Trans Widow, fully half of us were vilified and defamed publicly after we ended the relationship. A much larger segment lost friends who threw their support with the narcissistically abused ex. Of 30 children born to us, 6 (probably more, there's some underreporting) of them had repeated suicidal ideation, and 3 of those did attempt to kill themselves, requiring hospitalizations. Some of the children are too young at this point to know if they might later drift into this grief and depression. Most of us lived for a time below the poverty level.
The "therapists" sanction our ex-husbands' narcissistic behavior, sometimes inserting themselves in to the legal custody battle, as my ex's diagnosing psychologist did. I was made responsible for both his temporary detransition and his subsequent decision to get the surgeries and "live full time as a woman." Stay calm, use logic and keep yourselves well by spending time in nature.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-V2WVBLcJM&t=1s
It should read "narcissistically abusive ex, at the end of the 6th line. Apologies. I'm dealing with tmj, the clenched jaw problem, just realized its built up over these 30 years since my discovery of his diaries, and the realization that his crossdressing went back to the middle of my second pregnancy.
It's shocking that there is no data on this. Anecdotally a friend told me about her stepdaughter, married to a cross dresser, doesn't claim to be a woman or trans, just a TV. Daughter in early 20s recently tried to take her own life and said it was because of her dad's cross dressing. Daughter is married and outwardly successful with a degree and good job etc but this is ripping her apart. I wonder what support she'll get from the NHS psych team if she raises her AGP dad as the source of her distress.
The sheer narcissism of these people and the pressure on their families is an outrage.
If you think it may help her, put her in touch with me through the contact form at uteheggengrasswidow.wordpress.com, my blog. She's not alone. There's a (Jungian?) therapist over in the UK, (I assume, since you reference the NHS) named Bob Withers, and he'd be a good place to start. He may know others who don't participate in the woo. (probably not through the NHS) She may have witnessed sexual fetish or been pulled into some coerced role play, even if seemingly innocent, could be psychologically damaging. She may have sensed female erasure at a tender age. These men need to know in certain terms that they are transgressing boundaries. She may benefit from the wellness movements on my channel, Trans Widow Ute Heggen, so I will link to a clip. Just recently I realized I've been clenching my jaw for 31 years, almost to the date, as exactly this month back then I found my husband's 3 crossdressing diaries and realized it went back to when I was pregnant with our second child. So, a man puts on a dress (he must have done it at work or in the "ladies loo" in the gay bars he frequented) and leaves his toddler and pregnant wife in a working class flat in the middle of Brooklyn, no cell phones, no beeper to get in touch if I or our son were coming down with something. The psychopathy runs deep.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHt7RMHRSxI&list=PLOFlPPQm71Ii-l-xoAlBZc5Iy9xZyfbUY&index=4
Ute I don't know what to say, except once again what a woman you are.
Thanks so much. I lead now, as the collector of data, a group of over 50 trans widows. I have 48 of them with some data on their experiences, and waiting for survey results of about 4. It takes a great deal of courage, even to reach out to me, as trans widows have been trolled, vilified and defamed, and about 1/3 of the time, our crossdressing husbands also assaulted us before we got out. With the complete approval of the psychological field.
Here's another tidbit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twucapkZdFE&t=1s
Ute I don’t often follow up your posts as I have no experience in this area at all so my comments are pretty useless but believe me I admire all that you are doing and I am sure this has been a colossal strain. Must add that I would have been out the door with my children if I ever even suspected that my husband had a fetish for being a woman. He didn’t.
Thanks! As I passed the 31 year anniversary mark for the day I found Neddy's 3 crossdressing diaries, I realized I have the clenched jaw problem of temporomandibular jaw pain. I'm going to start asking my trans widows about the actual physical manifestations of the stress, as there probably are patterns, again, never before documented by "the professionals." A pillow change has made a big difference! Who knows, perhaps children who ideate the "wrong body" because of the indoctrination in school can get a new pillow from Mom and Dad, a magic pillow, that relieves all fantasies and makes bad dreams go away. Works for me! Here's another scintillating tidbit from the report I made on charlatan "sexologist" for using uncertified "therapists" for her 1 appointment diagnoses. I'll never know if they opened a case, of course: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWC1lOq5rYc&t=1s
What a patronising twat he is .
Yes, exactly what I was thinking (“patronising twat”). Especially his saying “my suspicion that the Trans/TERF debate is not quite as important as those involved in it believe” -- translation: “my suspicion is that women’s and lesbian/gay rights, and the bodily integrity of children and young people is not quite as important as those involved in it believe.” Fuck you Ian Hislop.
I’m a wee bit too old school to say “Fuck you Ian Hislop”. But I’m going to say it anyway so “Fuck you Ian Hislop” an you’re not as clever as you think you are either.
😂 yeah, sorry, I tend to be a bit blunt
Graham, thank you a thousand times from the bottom of my heart for everything you do to protect women and children. History will celebrate you as a hero. The cowards will be a footnote!
You’re nearly out of this Graham. Hold strong. The atmosphere has changed so much in the two years I’ve been involved. What we’re seeing is the last desperate lashing out of the gender cult as they realise that their empire is collapsing. Your comedy set gave me a good laugh out loud moment which is a sign of quality - keep at it.
Ian Hislop likes to present himself as some Swiftian satirist/Fearless truth-teller/Thorn in the side of the establishment etc (and other moth-eaten old cliches) when in reality he would have shat his pants at the idea of going up against the Gender Ideology bloc at the BBC. Such disobedience would have meant no more presenting jobs.
When Gender ideology finally loses its grip and people are unafraid to talk openly, people like Hislop will be documented as cowards. Establishment cowards - doing what's expected of them by those in power. That'll be his legacy.
Quite. I think the BBC thing is probably a big block for him personally.
Yup. Men in dresses claiming to be literal women, the idea of men giving birth and Kier Starmer pretending women have penises should have been a gift to satirists. But here we are. Ian is a coward who knows on which side his bread is buttered.
In the Court of the Glasgow Bus Stop which I attend regularly and convened as usual this morning the verdict was the SNP and the Greens are toast - and pretty scabby toast at that. The opinions on the rest of the politicians are still under consideration but not promising. People on the street acting on their instinct about what is right and decent can often cut through the crap to see what’s going on. It may take them longer and with more simplistic explanations but they are not going to look at a man in drag and think he’s a woman. Widow Twanky is still just pantomime.
Yup. It’s the sort of conflict of interest PE usually criticises.
It’s the easiest thing in the world to find out the truth of gender ideology / Queer Theory and investigate the people and the money behind it all. It’s the easiest thing to see the misogyny, the homophobia and the sexualisation and grooming of children. All it takes is open ears, eyes and a questioning mind, rather than one which just swallows the hype. And it’s infuriating that there are so many closed minded cowards.
Thanks for everything you do Graham.
There are none so blind as those that will not see.
I find it just as frustrating when people ostensibly on 'our' side want to assign blame to their favorite boogeyman (left, right, commies, feminists, gays, etc) rather than look at the facts as have been painstakingly assembled over the last decade. So many closed minded cowards all over the place.
I can understand people being afraid to speak up but when you've made a career in 'telling it like it is' it really is desperately cowardly to pretend not to see. Thank you for all you do. You were always a comedy hero, now you're just a hero
just had to stick up for you on several Facebook threads. I'm so sorry this is happening to you Graham. Stay strong. You were the sane one.
I commented in the Mail about how Grahams obnoxious comedy should still be allowed under the guise of free speech, I made some forceful points, but think it was the ‘trans activists’ words that alerted them, I should have written Tr@ns instead, then it would probably have been printed!!
However, I will have great pleasure in writing to Private Eye to cancel my subscription!
That’s reads as though I think his comedy is obnoxious! The writer was calling it that and I was pointing out just who was obnoxious!
sorry,I don’t know how to edit!
Phew!
That's where quotation marks (".....") come in handy!
Click on the three dots after your post and an edit option mercifully appears.
I comment on the matter at every relevant opportunity on the DM web site. My comments are never published. AI is screening out every thing except the bland (“that is wrong” will get through - “a person with a pe* is a man” - probably not. Times is the same). But I try.
Edit is under the three little dots underneath your comment :)
Hislop is and part of the problem . It’s a shame as private eye back in the day could be a good read.
I disagree. PE publishes much important investigative journalism. Not wise to chuck out baby with t'bath water.
PEs lack of interest in the gender zeitgeist may have been somewhat exaggerated - here are are some e.g. funnies, & a few reports/reviews ex PE.
(jpegs hosted on IMGBB)
https://ibb.co/41tNBXT
https://ibb.co/Yj8nJ94
https://ibb.co/4jspr3Z
https://ibb.co/zF41yTR
https://ibb.co/XJFxntF
https://ibb.co/Km31JTR
https://ibb.co/THyv1pY
https://ibb.co/Lk4sZZ0
https://ibb.co/MgdsWDb
https://ibb.co/3yfKYr2
https://ibb.co/NWPPMqx
https://ibb.co/Z2LJmqN
https://ibb.co/CBsYmmV
https://ibb.co/qMx9z2M
https://ibb.co/Y2c6CmJ
Yes, great cartoons, a bit of fart-arsing around the edges. Nothing much on the NHS, the police, schools, universities, Publishing.
Those were from a mere minute of hunting. PE has published quite a few articles about GIDS/Travistocok and Mermaids in the last 18-24 months.
... IPSO, sports (to be fair, they don't much care about sports), the NSPCC, charities, Rape Crisis organisations. I could go on.
PE have also reported on sports related issues :-)
They also write about NHS x/construction/preferred bidder lanes but you do have to know to look and then look. They're often mentioned on other forums as enough of us are enough aware about rumblings behind scenes. I'm sad they let this sneery one through. Not witty or bringing down corrupt govt or business.
Yes they do not write about NHS rainbow badges, Appendix B which allows men into female wards. the rape of a female patient in one such wards
The Joylon Maugham article (6th up from the bottom) is a useful illustration of why people who should know better give into this nonsense.
Out of all the excellent cartoons and articles, this one really leapt out to me. I knew about the fox bludgeoning but not about how he had flip-flopped about in his views on it all. I just assumed he had always uttered nasty things to and about anyone who tries to point out the impact of it all.
How to define the word 'grift' with one excellent illustration. Who's making money hand over fist again? Oh yes...
Wait what! The Jolyon Maugham article - did the Judge really say that firms were “entitled to discriminate” against people whose views they did not like? WTF.
FFS!! "Not quite as important"??? If that was Hislop's response to your letter, he hasn't done enough research - like reading Trans, by Helen Joyce or Time to Think by Hannah Barnes. He's minimising the impact of trans ideology on women, children, young people's health & bodies, the captured police, the judiciary, prisons, sport, education, the NHS, politics and all the rest.
Don't give up Graham. Keep keeping us up-to-date and well informed. I have peaked so many people, thanks to you. I will always stick up for you and intend writing to Private Eye this week.
💯
Watch in a couple of years for the inevitable "Eye Told You So" column where they say exactly this. They did that with Savile, when the story was "everyone knew and did nothing about it", which surely makes them as bad as the rest of the establishment.
Leafletting passers by at Standing for Women in Hyde Park event on Sunday I was talking to a concerned father, who understood many of the issues. He said somewhat sadly that he’d heard you are a misogynist. Turns out this is apparently cos you disagree with some left wing feminists 🙄 . I told him you’re always mobbed at SFW events by women getting selfies 😉
Hislop is too busy purveying his own brand of comfortable irreverence to see what is really happening. He's probably afraid to look too closely - he might just see the nightmare and become horrified (unhinged?) over it like the rest of us.
"...and my suspicion that the Trans/TERF debate is not quite as important as those involved in it believe..." Really Mr Hislop? Perhaps you'd like to raise your head above the parapet and actually do some research rather than being so dismissive of the erosion of women's hard won rights and the boundaries that safeguard women and children. Also of the coercion and invasion of safe spaces for same-sex attracted persons, who funnily enough also fought hard and long for their right to these. Mr Hislop seems to be wearing the blinkers of privilege.
Infuriating isn’t it! And it’s the same men who’ll complain that we’re spending too much time on the ‘culture wars’.
Sitting him in a room to have a chat with those harmed - maybe a few detransitioners might help him.
Thank you Graham, you are a true hero and we appreciate everything you do.
Yea thankyou Graham these lazy nasty smears are born of guilt. Pointing at you ti keep themselves squeaky clean
They don’t care
Rapists in women’s prisons but yep not that important. Pathetic hislop