(This is the final part of a three-part post. Parts 1 and 2 can be found here and here. ) This then was the situation that I faced. I had a daughter who was in a cult and was demanding that she be allowed to permanently damage her health and irrevocably alter her appearance. And the very people who should have been protecting Sinead and trying to help her had betrayed my trust in the most appalling way possible. Clearly, there was no one coming to the rescue. We were on our own. When I realised I was dealing with a cult I was strangely relieved as finally I understood what was going on. And how to fix it.
I wish every parent going through this could read this. I wish every teacher, therapist and doctor could point them to advice like this rather than the harmful and criminal validation advice. When did learned adults start bending the knee to teens as experts? Bravo to this mum and family for getting through this in a rational, supportive and logical manner. Sinead is fortunate to have these parents.
Absolutely. I think a few government types and politicians should read it as well and other so-called 'decision makers'. Anyone in safeguarding. Anyone in any service! It's brilliant. I am furious about it all. So many things stood out, but the way that others groom and are grooming adjacent in similar ways, like this part:
'One ex friend deserves a special mention. She is the most dangerous trans ally of all, an active recruiter. She calls herself non-binary but makes absolutely no effort to present as anything other than sexy anime girl. However, she collects all the lost lesbians she can and persuades them that they are trans. She has the most success with the ones who are also autistic.'
This felt so familiar to me. From my own childhood and adult life. Contemporaries or people in your spaces or groups at school or family, then work. Those who observe, snigger along, bully and join in with other better and more active bullies, stay deliberately silent or go 'no comment' and/or gently push those less resilient or who need more guidance to positions they themselves don't hold or over the edge. But they do just enough to pretend to all sides, then switch back and forth. It gives the more sociopathic the power and clears their way. It means those who might speak up feel too many are against them and can't be counted on so they feel alone and less willing to stick their neck out. These bystanders feeding the pipeline get all of the glory of being 'nice' in the 'in group' (and 'out group') and suck support from all sides, playing them off against each other and get none of the damage. This movement would have imploded without this social grease and fence-sitters. The ones mooing, screeching, threatening and applauding others to self-abuse. Children, then adults.
These recruiters are seeded everywhere. Drip, drip, drip. The BBC is acting like one. Radio 4 today has had different trans-identifying males putting their 'side' forward and Evan Davis even expressed a concern he wasn't as supportive of the 'other side' after he'd grilled and doubted Rosie Duffield MP. And they've repeatedly trailed the same quote from one of the trans-identifying males that it's 'just scaremongering'. After a clip of Nicola Sturgeon claiming the UK Govt didn't raise any concerns before. That's a flat out, well-evidenced and deliberate lie and 'move along nothing to see here' gaslighting. How many women came forward about David Carrick, yet another former Met officer? How many refused to pursue it as too scared? How many came forward after a decade only after it had been made public and they then had the confidence to come forward as they might be believed?
It's a great piece. You can see how much investment and effort it takes though. I fear children blessed with less devoted parents won't be rescued. And, sadly, many have very devoted parents that think they're doing the right thing supporting the gender nonsense, and all the institutions have been affirming and pushing them to do that.
Absolutely. There are also very scared parents that worry they will lose their child if they don't do what the institutions tell them. It does worry me though, the amount of otherwise sane adults who are willing to push what they know to be true aside because their child introduces them to the cult of trans and has a tantrum about being kind and telling them they hate them if they don't go along with it. As this mother states, it's not a parent's job to be the bets friend, it's to be a parent. Unfortunatley various institutions are over-stepping the mark in taking parents rights away e.g. the Senydd in Wales removing the right of parents to remove their child from the indoctrination part of the syllabus that grooms kids into the gender cult.
Well done for highlighting Wales. Drakeford.has now said that a Scottish GRC would be valid in Wales and that he hopes to enact the same! I used to think he was a fairly pragmatic, cautious and rather boring leader (as those who administer our lives should be!) but he has fallen for the dogma of the 'most oppressed and marginalised' hook, line and sinker.
"Your teenager may come across as an expert in all things trans, but they are no match for an adult who has done their research." Brava. Excellent and hard won advice generously and articulately offered to suffering parents and their children. Wow. I'm impressed.
In the future, people will not believe how easily the mantra “Transwomen Are Women” was able to smash logic and sane thought. “The Bigger the Lie” is THE golden ticket to the obliteration of reason. The Third Reich knew it. The ‘gender’ ideologues know it. There’s no Bigger Lie than that of a human being's ability to transform into the opposite sex. It’s depressing to see how vulnerable and fragile the human psyche is to a Big Lie. After this ‘gender’ cult is dismantled, somehow we must inoculate young people against succumbing ever again to such propaganda tactics.
I agree that vulnerable, fragile young people are susceptible to the Big Lie. What is depressing are the adults who should know better who accept the Big Lie as presented to them by BBC or PBS and then spout secondhand (eightieth-hand?) propaganda as though it were truth. We should inoculate young people against propaganda but it doesn't work very well when they see their parents swallowing it without a thought.
Thank you for your advice. My daughter is 15 and we’ve been in the cult for two full years. We don’t use the boy name or male pronouns and at the moment she’s not made too much fuss if it but I’m always expecting an argument on it. My husband wants to confront things head on and I know he’s right but I’m terrified of losing her completely so I pretend to myself it will be ok.
Your advice has given me a bit of a push I know a lot about the whole trans stuff but I’m rubbish in an argument. I’m going to watch your recommended videos. Thanks for sharing what obviously was a horrible period of your life.
O my word , I was in absolute tears reading this , I wish every Sinead had such wonderful parents , and I wish the worst time in hell for everyone who has supported and encouraged this cult / mutilation /brainwashing on our children
This episode and the two preceding are excellent, full of information, ideas, pointers and where to look for help. This should be available to every single school, doctor, surgeon, therapist. I also recommend issac on yt some of his videos are just heartbreaking 💔 but his softly spoken approach and the information give is very very helpful. Exulansic is amazing, arty morty great fun, Mr memno, and I recommend the mess we're in and particularly their interview with Elaine Miller. This mum is very brave as is sinead
I have an interview tomorrow with the state supervising board certifying the "sexologist" PhD psychologist who wrote in a sworn affidavit that she diagnosed my then husband (secretly, on his part, of course) on July 20, 1993. She's still in practice. She gave details that were false and could get her license revoked, because of what she wrote in 1996! Be sure to get care plans &etc, in writing from these charlatans! This one had a non-certified practitioner doing the "weekly therapy sessions" she claimed she did. I will be making an official telephone statement tomorrow and hopefully they do an investigation. This shady area of the field has had no scrutiny. Thanks, Graham! Ute
How ironic: denigrating co-sleeping and demand-feeding as 'permissive' is a fine example of dismissing biological reality. These are basic needs of human babies but our so-called progressive society, feminism etc, has devalued these practices and labelled them wrong and therefore damaging. Quite the opposite is true - meeting a completely dependent infant's needs is not being permissive, it is fundamental to healthy development.
yes. i didn't understand that link either. i home birthed, demand fed and co slept with my four kids. that in no way interferes with my stance as a hard nosed realist or their respect for me. quite the reverse in fact. they are young adults now and i doubt any of them would ever describe me as a push over. my daughter once described me in a school project as nurturing and strong. one doesn't rule out the other.
I totally agree. I don't understand why this was included as an example of "permissive" parenting. Feeding babies on a timetable and separating infants from mothers to sleep is a complete denial of biological reality. Study after study has shown the positive benefits of demand feeding breastfed infants and co-sleeping
So glad you wrote this, and the same to the commenters below. What is wrong with our cultures that we think feeding babies when they're hungry and keeping them close is "permissive"? A group of American "professionals" went to Uganda to "help" Ugandans with their child-rearing and found, of course, that Ugandan babies and toddlers were far more highly developed in speech and social skills than American children of the same age.
I want to add to my own comment. Yes, it is possible to "spoil" children, but not babies. I hate to say it regarding the author of these pieces, but my guess is that if she thinks feeding babies when they're hungry and keeping them close is "permissive," it may explain some of her daughter's problems. One of the reasons I grew up emotionally healthy, I believe, is due to my sisters' tender care of me when I was a baby (after that, I was an annoying grubby little kid). My mother phrased it as "All you had to do was whimper and your sisters ran to you." My mother did not understand that's what babies need and deserve. One of the fundamental problems in our cultures is the way we treat babies who are totally dependent upon their caregivers.
This was awesome, and it's a little too late for us. Our "teen" is almost 19 and in college. This nightmare started for us in 2019 and in 2020, after 6 months of awful therapy and learning the dangers of social media, it was too far gone. So we focused on keeping her close and still do. She's still entrenched , but getting better therapy for her trauma and personality disorder. All we can do is hope and pray.......I hope parents who are just dealing with this read this and act on the excellent suggestions.
This three part stort is very inspiring. The mum hearing her daughter was trans and the effort she went through to rescue her daughter. The effort, the education to study the subject, to prepare yourself to oppose this ideology. The patience and understanding that you were up against. The difficulty you faced by people who indoctrinated your daughter. The logical way you communicated with your daughter, with patience you persevered over a long period. It took a long time as it does with kids caputured by a cult, but you never gave up. In the end your efforts saved your daughter from a terrible situation. You are truly inspirational. Your story should be shared far and wide.
I’m so relieved that my kids are grown up. It also breaks my heart as a double mastectomy cancer survivor to see the terrible self mutilation in those photos; carried out by adults who really should be held accountable.
This is such a brilliant series of posts. Well done for getting your daughter back - my heart breaks for all those struggling with this and all the poor kids whose parents just cave in and go along with it. Adults are supposed to hold the line, set the boundaries, keep the world safe in a time of flux and we're failing this generation so badly. One thing I noticed was that you and your husband worked on this together, how on earth do the divorced parents where one is pushing this cope - there seem to be cases where the so called 'trans child' is weaponised, which must add a whole new layer of pain and damage into the mix.
This is a wonderfully articulated, brave, and astute essay. You are correct that "Many parents these days are afraid of their teenage children" and are "tiptoeing around their teenagers so as not to incur their disapproval." As a psychologist and former stay-at-home dad who raised three, I agree with you completely. Your family is lucky to have you, you are lucky to have such a supporting spouse, and I admire your strength and tenacity. Thank you so much for telling your story, Frederick
Excellent article - although the writer claiming feeding babies on demand and co-sleeping are "permissive parenting"? Lady, have you forgotten what it's like to have a newborn baby?!
I wish every parent going through this could read this. I wish every teacher, therapist and doctor could point them to advice like this rather than the harmful and criminal validation advice. When did learned adults start bending the knee to teens as experts? Bravo to this mum and family for getting through this in a rational, supportive and logical manner. Sinead is fortunate to have these parents.
Absolutely. I think a few government types and politicians should read it as well and other so-called 'decision makers'. Anyone in safeguarding. Anyone in any service! It's brilliant. I am furious about it all. So many things stood out, but the way that others groom and are grooming adjacent in similar ways, like this part:
'One ex friend deserves a special mention. She is the most dangerous trans ally of all, an active recruiter. She calls herself non-binary but makes absolutely no effort to present as anything other than sexy anime girl. However, she collects all the lost lesbians she can and persuades them that they are trans. She has the most success with the ones who are also autistic.'
This felt so familiar to me. From my own childhood and adult life. Contemporaries or people in your spaces or groups at school or family, then work. Those who observe, snigger along, bully and join in with other better and more active bullies, stay deliberately silent or go 'no comment' and/or gently push those less resilient or who need more guidance to positions they themselves don't hold or over the edge. But they do just enough to pretend to all sides, then switch back and forth. It gives the more sociopathic the power and clears their way. It means those who might speak up feel too many are against them and can't be counted on so they feel alone and less willing to stick their neck out. These bystanders feeding the pipeline get all of the glory of being 'nice' in the 'in group' (and 'out group') and suck support from all sides, playing them off against each other and get none of the damage. This movement would have imploded without this social grease and fence-sitters. The ones mooing, screeching, threatening and applauding others to self-abuse. Children, then adults.
These recruiters are seeded everywhere. Drip, drip, drip. The BBC is acting like one. Radio 4 today has had different trans-identifying males putting their 'side' forward and Evan Davis even expressed a concern he wasn't as supportive of the 'other side' after he'd grilled and doubted Rosie Duffield MP. And they've repeatedly trailed the same quote from one of the trans-identifying males that it's 'just scaremongering'. After a clip of Nicola Sturgeon claiming the UK Govt didn't raise any concerns before. That's a flat out, well-evidenced and deliberate lie and 'move along nothing to see here' gaslighting. How many women came forward about David Carrick, yet another former Met officer? How many refused to pursue it as too scared? How many came forward after a decade only after it had been made public and they then had the confidence to come forward as they might be believed?
It's a great piece. You can see how much investment and effort it takes though. I fear children blessed with less devoted parents won't be rescued. And, sadly, many have very devoted parents that think they're doing the right thing supporting the gender nonsense, and all the institutions have been affirming and pushing them to do that.
Absolutely. There are also very scared parents that worry they will lose their child if they don't do what the institutions tell them. It does worry me though, the amount of otherwise sane adults who are willing to push what they know to be true aside because their child introduces them to the cult of trans and has a tantrum about being kind and telling them they hate them if they don't go along with it. As this mother states, it's not a parent's job to be the bets friend, it's to be a parent. Unfortunatley various institutions are over-stepping the mark in taking parents rights away e.g. the Senydd in Wales removing the right of parents to remove their child from the indoctrination part of the syllabus that grooms kids into the gender cult.
Well done for highlighting Wales. Drakeford.has now said that a Scottish GRC would be valid in Wales and that he hopes to enact the same! I used to think he was a fairly pragmatic, cautious and rather boring leader (as those who administer our lives should be!) but he has fallen for the dogma of the 'most oppressed and marginalised' hook, line and sinker.
I totally agree with you.
"Your teenager may come across as an expert in all things trans, but they are no match for an adult who has done their research." Brava. Excellent and hard won advice generously and articulately offered to suffering parents and their children. Wow. I'm impressed.
In the future, people will not believe how easily the mantra “Transwomen Are Women” was able to smash logic and sane thought. “The Bigger the Lie” is THE golden ticket to the obliteration of reason. The Third Reich knew it. The ‘gender’ ideologues know it. There’s no Bigger Lie than that of a human being's ability to transform into the opposite sex. It’s depressing to see how vulnerable and fragile the human psyche is to a Big Lie. After this ‘gender’ cult is dismantled, somehow we must inoculate young people against succumbing ever again to such propaganda tactics.
I agree that vulnerable, fragile young people are susceptible to the Big Lie. What is depressing are the adults who should know better who accept the Big Lie as presented to them by BBC or PBS and then spout secondhand (eightieth-hand?) propaganda as though it were truth. We should inoculate young people against propaganda but it doesn't work very well when they see their parents swallowing it without a thought.
Thank you for your advice. My daughter is 15 and we’ve been in the cult for two full years. We don’t use the boy name or male pronouns and at the moment she’s not made too much fuss if it but I’m always expecting an argument on it. My husband wants to confront things head on and I know he’s right but I’m terrified of losing her completely so I pretend to myself it will be ok.
Your advice has given me a bit of a push I know a lot about the whole trans stuff but I’m rubbish in an argument. I’m going to watch your recommended videos. Thanks for sharing what obviously was a horrible period of your life.
I'm so sorry your family is caught up in this. Your daughter will thank you for protecting her one day. Good luck.
O my word , I was in absolute tears reading this , I wish every Sinead had such wonderful parents , and I wish the worst time in hell for everyone who has supported and encouraged this cult / mutilation /brainwashing on our children
I wasn't in tears reading this -- more like Right on, sister! -- but tears came to my eyes reading your comment.
This episode and the two preceding are excellent, full of information, ideas, pointers and where to look for help. This should be available to every single school, doctor, surgeon, therapist. I also recommend issac on yt some of his videos are just heartbreaking 💔 but his softly spoken approach and the information give is very very helpful. Exulansic is amazing, arty morty great fun, Mr memno, and I recommend the mess we're in and particularly their interview with Elaine Miller. This mum is very brave as is sinead
I have an interview tomorrow with the state supervising board certifying the "sexologist" PhD psychologist who wrote in a sworn affidavit that she diagnosed my then husband (secretly, on his part, of course) on July 20, 1993. She's still in practice. She gave details that were false and could get her license revoked, because of what she wrote in 1996! Be sure to get care plans &etc, in writing from these charlatans! This one had a non-certified practitioner doing the "weekly therapy sessions" she claimed she did. I will be making an official telephone statement tomorrow and hopefully they do an investigation. This shady area of the field has had no scrutiny. Thanks, Graham! Ute
Best of luck!
This should be compulsory reading for ALL parents. Wonderfully brave woman and lucky, lucky girl to have her as her mum.
How ironic: denigrating co-sleeping and demand-feeding as 'permissive' is a fine example of dismissing biological reality. These are basic needs of human babies but our so-called progressive society, feminism etc, has devalued these practices and labelled them wrong and therefore damaging. Quite the opposite is true - meeting a completely dependent infant's needs is not being permissive, it is fundamental to healthy development.
yes. i didn't understand that link either. i home birthed, demand fed and co slept with my four kids. that in no way interferes with my stance as a hard nosed realist or their respect for me. quite the reverse in fact. they are young adults now and i doubt any of them would ever describe me as a push over. my daughter once described me in a school project as nurturing and strong. one doesn't rule out the other.
I totally agree. I don't understand why this was included as an example of "permissive" parenting. Feeding babies on a timetable and separating infants from mothers to sleep is a complete denial of biological reality. Study after study has shown the positive benefits of demand feeding breastfed infants and co-sleeping
So glad you wrote this, and the same to the commenters below. What is wrong with our cultures that we think feeding babies when they're hungry and keeping them close is "permissive"? A group of American "professionals" went to Uganda to "help" Ugandans with their child-rearing and found, of course, that Ugandan babies and toddlers were far more highly developed in speech and social skills than American children of the same age.
I want to add to my own comment. Yes, it is possible to "spoil" children, but not babies. I hate to say it regarding the author of these pieces, but my guess is that if she thinks feeding babies when they're hungry and keeping them close is "permissive," it may explain some of her daughter's problems. One of the reasons I grew up emotionally healthy, I believe, is due to my sisters' tender care of me when I was a baby (after that, I was an annoying grubby little kid). My mother phrased it as "All you had to do was whimper and your sisters ran to you." My mother did not understand that's what babies need and deserve. One of the fundamental problems in our cultures is the way we treat babies who are totally dependent upon their caregivers.
This was awesome, and it's a little too late for us. Our "teen" is almost 19 and in college. This nightmare started for us in 2019 and in 2020, after 6 months of awful therapy and learning the dangers of social media, it was too far gone. So we focused on keeping her close and still do. She's still entrenched , but getting better therapy for her trauma and personality disorder. All we can do is hope and pray.......I hope parents who are just dealing with this read this and act on the excellent suggestions.
This three part stort is very inspiring. The mum hearing her daughter was trans and the effort she went through to rescue her daughter. The effort, the education to study the subject, to prepare yourself to oppose this ideology. The patience and understanding that you were up against. The difficulty you faced by people who indoctrinated your daughter. The logical way you communicated with your daughter, with patience you persevered over a long period. It took a long time as it does with kids caputured by a cult, but you never gave up. In the end your efforts saved your daughter from a terrible situation. You are truly inspirational. Your story should be shared far and wide.
I’m so relieved that my kids are grown up. It also breaks my heart as a double mastectomy cancer survivor to see the terrible self mutilation in those photos; carried out by adults who really should be held accountable.
Thank you; this had been an astonishing read. What a parent you are!
This is such a brilliant series of posts. Well done for getting your daughter back - my heart breaks for all those struggling with this and all the poor kids whose parents just cave in and go along with it. Adults are supposed to hold the line, set the boundaries, keep the world safe in a time of flux and we're failing this generation so badly. One thing I noticed was that you and your husband worked on this together, how on earth do the divorced parents where one is pushing this cope - there seem to be cases where the so called 'trans child' is weaponised, which must add a whole new layer of pain and damage into the mix.
This is a wonderfully articulated, brave, and astute essay. You are correct that "Many parents these days are afraid of their teenage children" and are "tiptoeing around their teenagers so as not to incur their disapproval." As a psychologist and former stay-at-home dad who raised three, I agree with you completely. Your family is lucky to have you, you are lucky to have such a supporting spouse, and I admire your strength and tenacity. Thank you so much for telling your story, Frederick
Excellent article - although the writer claiming feeding babies on demand and co-sleeping are "permissive parenting"? Lady, have you forgotten what it's like to have a newborn baby?!