Let's hope she wins. It would represent a significant move in the right direction.
I was reading recently that Irvine Welch employed a 'sensitivity reader' because his latest book had a trans character in it. Why? They may be noisy and powerful but they are a tiny demographic, why bother with that shower? Still, as a redeeming feature, he did say he agreed with JK Rowling's comments so I guess that's something.
Thanks, Julia for all you do. Here is the survey, 20 Questions to Ask a Trans Widow (uteheggengrasswidow.wordpress.com, contact form to be vetted and answer, so far data from 40 women who divorced crossdressing husbands)
Trans Widow Survey:
1. Was his crossdressing a revelation or your discovery?
2. Did he then tell you it is under control, not frequent, and then it escalated out of control?
3. Did he select a therapist? Did that therapist or he claim the marriage is now a "lesbian relationship?"
4. Did he put money in a secret account or other venue and spend it on wardrobe, make-up, electrolysis, etc? Did he incur credit card debt for this spending?
5. Did he wear your clothing or make-up?
6. Did he suggest/coerce/cajole you into "sex role play" whereby you are to use a "strap on" or other sex toy and play a "male" part in bed? Answer that it was suggested even if you flat out refused and tell what happened if you were coerced and did it. I can handle all the details. The fact that one woman was physically damaged at the site of her C-section scar is important.
7. Did a therapist suggest any of the above as in #6? I am combining the answers of these two in the data but it's important for data to know whether mental health professionals were participating in this sexual harassment.
8. Did he defame/vilify you in affidavits submitted to court in the divorce/custody process or defame/vilify you on social media? Please, if both happened, do indicate.
9. Did he claim to any therapist or a group of friends that you abused him verbally or physically?
10. Did he attack you physically? Please indicate whether it was choking, shoving, punching, etc and if there were any bruises, scars and evidence. Also if the police were called.
11. Did he force unwanted sex with you? Did that happen more than once? Were the police called, were any charges filed?
12. Did you live below the poverty line or require governmental or family financial assistance at any time after the end of the relationship? Were you unable to leave because of money?
13. Did any members of the clergy (priests, rabbis, ministers) suggest that you have to give in to his requests to keep your family/marriage together?
14. Did anyone, therapist, friend, husband, or family suggest you now are obligated to "share Mother's Day?"
15. In your own individual therapy, or in the process of interviewing a therapist for yourself, did any mental health professionals tell you that he's to be referred to as female, with female pronouns in therapy supposedly centered around your recovery?
16. Did you lose a set of friends after he came out or after the relationship ended?
17. Did he start self-identifying as "mother" of the children he fathered or was step-father of?
18. Did he suggest/insist that the children call him "Mama-Something" or some other similar version of Mum?
19. Did a therapist or husband or any friends/relatives tell you that your rejection of and ending the relationshiop "caused him to decide to live as a female full-time?"
20. Did he co-opt your experience of childbirth, using the details of your labor to convince new friends of his "female status" and role as "mother?"
Please, please God, let her win. Give sane people more courage. Let this madness leave our polity.
Sending you all sorts of strong vibes and best wishes for success.
Good luck!
Let's hope she wins. It would represent a significant move in the right direction.
I was reading recently that Irvine Welch employed a 'sensitivity reader' because his latest book had a trans character in it. Why? They may be noisy and powerful but they are a tiny demographic, why bother with that shower? Still, as a redeeming feature, he did say he agreed with JK Rowling's comments so I guess that's something.
That's a terrific statement.
Thanks, Julia for all you do. Here is the survey, 20 Questions to Ask a Trans Widow (uteheggengrasswidow.wordpress.com, contact form to be vetted and answer, so far data from 40 women who divorced crossdressing husbands)
Trans Widow Survey:
1. Was his crossdressing a revelation or your discovery?
2. Did he then tell you it is under control, not frequent, and then it escalated out of control?
3. Did he select a therapist? Did that therapist or he claim the marriage is now a "lesbian relationship?"
4. Did he put money in a secret account or other venue and spend it on wardrobe, make-up, electrolysis, etc? Did he incur credit card debt for this spending?
5. Did he wear your clothing or make-up?
6. Did he suggest/coerce/cajole you into "sex role play" whereby you are to use a "strap on" or other sex toy and play a "male" part in bed? Answer that it was suggested even if you flat out refused and tell what happened if you were coerced and did it. I can handle all the details. The fact that one woman was physically damaged at the site of her C-section scar is important.
7. Did a therapist suggest any of the above as in #6? I am combining the answers of these two in the data but it's important for data to know whether mental health professionals were participating in this sexual harassment.
8. Did he defame/vilify you in affidavits submitted to court in the divorce/custody process or defame/vilify you on social media? Please, if both happened, do indicate.
9. Did he claim to any therapist or a group of friends that you abused him verbally or physically?
10. Did he attack you physically? Please indicate whether it was choking, shoving, punching, etc and if there were any bruises, scars and evidence. Also if the police were called.
11. Did he force unwanted sex with you? Did that happen more than once? Were the police called, were any charges filed?
12. Did you live below the poverty line or require governmental or family financial assistance at any time after the end of the relationship? Were you unable to leave because of money?
13. Did any members of the clergy (priests, rabbis, ministers) suggest that you have to give in to his requests to keep your family/marriage together?
14. Did anyone, therapist, friend, husband, or family suggest you now are obligated to "share Mother's Day?"
15. In your own individual therapy, or in the process of interviewing a therapist for yourself, did any mental health professionals tell you that he's to be referred to as female, with female pronouns in therapy supposedly centered around your recovery?
16. Did you lose a set of friends after he came out or after the relationship ended?
17. Did he start self-identifying as "mother" of the children he fathered or was step-father of?
18. Did he suggest/insist that the children call him "Mama-Something" or some other similar version of Mum?
19. Did a therapist or husband or any friends/relatives tell you that your rejection of and ending the relationshiop "caused him to decide to live as a female full-time?"
20. Did he co-opt your experience of childbirth, using the details of your labor to convince new friends of his "female status" and role as "mother?"
Excellent stuff, best of luck, Julia
Dusty
This is clearly needed
Common sense prevails.
I wish you all the best Julia. 👍🏾
I have no pitch in this game but best of luck 🤞🏻
Think of Victor Gollanz publishing Francis Stuart. Modern publishers look like pathetic wimplets.
Excellent statement.
Can anyone vote? If so, how?
Presumably you'd need to be a member of The Society Of Authors...?
It’s nice to be reminded sometimes that I’m not the only one that’s as thick as pig shit 🤣
I hope I didn't sound like I was being critical- I can see how anbody could get confused by all this stuff...
No not at all