Stonewall withdraw from Stonewall Champions Scheme

"Our continued association with ourselves is not the best way forward" says Nancy Kelly

Stonewall was stunned last night as it became the latest big-name organisation to withdraw from the Stonewall Champions Scheme.

The legally-confused, gender-grifting, child-grooming organisation appeared to have been taken by surprise by the announcement, coming only days soon after yet another humiliating court battle.

Mindful that if Ben Cooper QC should embarrass them in court for a third time, he is allowed to keep them, the government-supported mountebanks have decided that the reputational risk of taking advice from themselves is just too great.

In a written statement found taped to the ear of Cuddles the cockapoo, emotional support dog and head of media engagement at headquarters of the gender-bilking giant, Stonewall’s Chief Gender Charlatan, Nancy Kelley, laid out their new position.

“It is with great regret that we at Stonewall have to announce our intention to withdraw from the Stonewall Champions Scheme. We remain committed to LGBTABCFBICIABLM+ rights, and will continue to advocate for these, but I have consulted with our entire workforce and both of them agree that our continued association with ourselves is not the best way forward for Stonewall. After recent court revelations, it is no longer tenable for us to be involved with an organisation which shares our views. Nevertheless, we wish ourselves all the best in all our future endeavours.”

When members of the press asked the entirely clownshoe-led organisation of bunco artists how this would affect their annual budget of approximately £529 million they were driven from the premises.

According to insiders at the shameless organisation of gender-highwaymen, the ending of Stonewall’s relationship with itself comes at a time when relations between the organisations are particularly difficult. It is thought that senior policy brigands have, for some time now, been largely preoccupied with the question of how on Earth to describe the difference between fetishistic cross-dressers and trans women. The subtle nuance involved in distinguishing between those men with a genuine, distressing, mismatch between their gender identity and their physical body which is so profound that it means they somehow actually become women through some mysterious but absolutely real process, and some blokes who like to crack one out while wearing their mum’s tights, continues to elude the gender swindlers.

It is thought that Stonewall severing ties with itself could lead to others following suit. Organisations could look to others rather than the shameless gender racketeers of Stonewall. While the shameless collection of identity spivs are the leading authority on HR policy as it pertains to LGBT+ issues there are other organisations which offer similar services. These include Mermaids, Gendered Intelligence, the LGBT Foundation, Transaction, Transpotting, Your Questions Transwered, Trans Theft Auto, Trans The Dutchie on The Left Hand Side, Transnow, 30 Ibiza Trance Bangers, Transfuture, Transforward, Transesame Street, and GIRES.

These organisations, with a combined budget of approximately £4 billion, work to try and meet the needs of the estimated 27 trans people in the UK.