A sporting chance!

We seek him here, we seek him there,
Those Frenchies seek him everywhere.
Is he in heaven? — Is he in hell?
That damned, elusive Pimpernel

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Apparently, so many people are accusing random Twitter accounts of being me that it has become a bit of a thing.

Matthew "Wrong Kind of Identity Marker" Greenfield @MatthewGreenf11

@JohnnyOGray @JamesBarry1789 @artofhunger75 @claireopatraaa "I'm Graham Linehan and so's my wife"

Poor old James Barry here even got a phone call FROM TWITTER because internet sleuths thought they had spotted in his tweets my linguistic fingerprint. Huge compliment, James! I am, after all, one of the greatest comedy writers of all time. OF ALL TIME.

James Barry @JamesBarry1789

@nonbinoBryan @AmyDentata @notallbhas @RoyalHoeliness Honestly, report if you like. IP address will clearly show I’m nowhere near Graham Linehan. Not that this will deter anyone- you eejits seem to be desperate for him. Even to the point of making up conspiracy theories that any other Irish person on Twitter is him. Muppets.

Hilariously, adviser to TD Simon Harris, Noah Halpin even got in on the action. Noah is a trans-identified female who claims that puberty blockers/surgery are harmless while travelling to and from hospital appointments. Yeah, you’ll be glad you hitched your wagon to Noah’s star, Simon!

Anyway, to stop these idiots from bothering those like James who simply HAPPEN to sound like one of the greatest comedy writers who ever lived, I am going to give a few clues as to my current Twitter identity.

1. I am following Katie Montgomery, Aiden Comerford and David Paisley.

2. I have also put a variation of “I am Graham Linehan” in my username, but somewhat disguised.

3. My username is a reference to a character in series 2 of Father Ted.

There! That should be enough to be getting on with. Any TRA who successfully gets me banned from Twitter again will get a signed printout of our story about Aimee Challenor. Happy hunting!