Tips for libfems
A sneak preview of a chapter from Tara Flynn's new book (guest post by Girl Afraid)
When Tara Flynn isn’t telling her fellow women to stop complaining about their rights being taken away by men in wigs, she’s working on ways to see how she can better serve men herself. Here are some tips from her new book ‘Can I hold your coat? My mission to see if there’s anything more I can do for men’.
Try not to think about rape victims needing spaces free from men. It makes your brain hurt! I find it’s best to just pretend it’s not an issue and never ever bring it up.
The women in Limerick prison are criminals. If they don’t want to be housed with violent, misogynist men, maybe they shouldn’t have committed crimes! You need to nurture your privilege and lack of empathy to the point where such a scenario actually causes you great amusement.
It’s none of our business if men want to be called women, while we are renamed cervix-havers, bleeders, vulva-owners, womxn, gestators, birthers, breeders or non-men. Remember: people using these terms are not insulting you, they’re educating you. Thank them, and promise to do better.
It’s also none of our business if men steal places and prizes from women in women’s sports. I don’t play sports, therefore it’s not important to any women! Instead of being bitter about losing a place, maybe make yourself useful by cleaning your teammates boots, or serving orange slices at half time! Chop chop, ladies!
And speaking of prizes, don’t dare complain about men taking your place on the Women’s Prize for Fiction. It’s none of our business!
Quick progress-check exercise: When a fellow woman shares a heartfelt and thoughtful essay based on her own experiences of domestic violence and sexual assault, did you tell her to go to hell? Very good! Keep going with that lack of empathy, you’re doing great!
Remember it's not a trans person's job to educate you, but consider it your immense privilege if they deign to do so. You must respect them, even if you’re not quite sure why.
If you see a man in a changing room or toilet facility, remember that your instincts are not important here. It’s your job to make him feel more comfortable and it is his privacy that is paramount! Women serve men, not the other way around!
Lesbians, now come on, stop being bigots. When you see a trans-identified male on your dating app, try and see past the clownish make-up, the adam’s apple and the massive sense of entitlement to see the lesbian within. You’ll make his dating life a whole lot easier!
The most important lesson of all is to never, ever forget to centre men in everything. You’re an oppressed group? Well, your struggles are nothing compared to that of men. It’s International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women and Girls? Make sure to shout out to men in a grand fashion whilst conveniently ignoring the devastating statistics about your own sex.
Most importantly, whenever you’re wondering if you’re doing enough for men, it probably means you aren’t. Do better. Be better. For men. In wigs.
Haha! I was not very familiar with TF and I went to her blog....thought it was a parody at first. Could she abase herself any more?!
I like Tara Flynn a lot - in every other context she's great but like so many others in the female writer/journo/performer cliques in Ireland, she's thrown her intelligence to the four winds where this issue is concerned. Why are so many falling over themselves to be so sycophantic - it's like an insane competition to be more-TRA-than-thou. To the point of some vicious woman-hating which they'd never tolerate in any other circumstance. Trans identified men are sure mining a rich seam of internalised self-hatred. It's going to take decades to recover from this insanity, so much damage is being done.