The Queering Of Motherhood
Our language must not 'evolve' to benefit fetishists, by Genevieve Gluck and StillTish
(Warning: disturbing content.)
A new mum turned to online forums for advice about breastfeeding and discovered to her horror that other women in the group were suggesting that trans-identified males should be accepted into the group. What’s the big deal? they argued. In this, they have an ally in Zoe Williams, who wrote the following:
Nonetheless, here I was, arguing with friends about language: the example was raised of a training course for doulas (freelance, new age birth partners). A trans woman wanted to join the class, and while the teaching doula had reservations, she assented. I didn’t get what the reservations were, to be honest: a doula is privately engaged – if you had a problem with a trans woman, you simply wouldn’t hire one.”
Well, the big deal, and the reason this mum has reservations, is that she knows that autogynephiles exist. She knows that just a few clicks away from these forums are men like this, and that they are legion, and they are demanding access to women’s spaces.
Longtime subscribers will also remember the appalling story of Princess Mom, in which women who complained about a pregnancy fetishist in a Facebook Forum were silenced by its moderators. Here he is trying to organise a fake “birth” within the group.
The technical term for a lactation fetish is lactophilia, and there is an abundance of online communities and pornography centered on it. For example, Reddit, which hosts a wide range of pornographic content and requires no age verification, features a subreddit dedicated to the discussion of “HuCow”, a portmanteau of “human cow”, or the fetishisation of women as service animals for their owner, or “farmer”.
It currently has over 87,000 members.
Yet lactophilia is not only limited to the sexualized degradation of women; men who identity as transgender can be seen online openly displaying their arousal while attempting to lactate.
A cursory search for transgender erotica on Amazon reveals “MTF transformation” erotica specifically centered on the lactophilia fetish. “The farmer I found to plow this field of mine also wanted to get a little milking done,” the summary reads. “I never thought being a woman could be this pleasurable.”
Though this self-published erotica sold through Amazon seems niche and humorous in its absurdity, it is the tip of the iceberg in a far greater sprawling mass of content posted across social media and online forums where men encourage each other in their fetishes -- which is in turn symptomatic of the even greater trend in dividing the entire experience of womanhood into consumable, sexualized parts.
In 2017, trans-identified male Dana Fried wrote an article for The Stranger describing his attempt to breastfeed his newborn daughter in which he states, “Yeah, I kind of got off on it. Don’t judge,”.
He goes on to say, “When they pulled my daughter free of my wife’s body, I was the first one to hold her. I took her back to the hospital room and did what any mom would do -- I put her on my bare chest and let her find my breast.”
Previously known as David, Fried currently works for Google and has tweeted out a photo of himself flipping the bird outside of a women’s restroom in protest of a 2017 proposed Washington state bill that would have protected single-sex facilities for women.
In a series of testimonies published by Trans Widows’ Voices, women who have been in relationships with autogynephilic, trans-identified men report that their partner began claiming a female identity during their pregnancy or shortly after giving birth. Elements of women’s reproductive capacity in particular appear to trigger envy in these men.
In August, it was reported that the US Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine had issued guidelines suggesting the use of terms such as “chestfeeding” and “human milk feeding” to promote “gender-inclusive language”. It’s difficult not to notice the obvious parallels between the terms “human milk feeding” and the adjacent pornography genre of “human cows”.
The fracturing of women’s selfhood from their sexed bodies that is at the root of gender identity ideology mirrors the splitting of women into objectified, consumable parts depicted in pornography. When women are not defined as adult human females, they are instead relegated to splintered parts that are made available for possession: a lactating person, a pregnant person, a cervix-haver, a menstruator.
All of these terms allow men to not only stake their claim to the female sex but to simultaneously claim that their particular fetish is what truly constitutes womanhood. This dehumanizing language props up a myriad of industries that exist to extract resources from female flesh: the sex industry, the pornography industry, and the burgeoning surrogacy industry. Gender ideology reduces women to parts and functions and in doing so, erases our humanity.
The push to deconstruct motherhood, and even the term “mother” itself, alongside the onslaught of degrading “inclusive” terminology, exacerbates the objectification of the most basic elements of the human experience. In her op-ed, Zoe Williams stated that the term ‘mum’ “forces you to choose between being an adult, with your name in the notes right there, and a biological function”.
This is yet another of the countless reversals spawned by this ideology. Motherhood, like womanhood, is a state of being. It is not a performance. Rather, gender identity ideology is performative and presents as authentic an insulting pantomime of the female sex.
The current framing of men’s desire to experience breastfeeding and motherhood as somehow progressive ought to strike us as an insult to humanity overall; it is not only an assault on women, but on the mother-child bond, and it should be obvious to everyone that using children as props to validate an erotic delusion constitutes abuse.
Zoe Williams and her privileged friends may be comfortable with allowing these men to shift our understanding of motherhood, but there are those of us who will resist it until our dying breath. If she wants language to evolve to better accommodate these men, she will have a fight on her hands.
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My SJW daughter is now coming round to the idea that this ideology may actually be harmful to Women. She said, and I quote "I've been trying for over a year to become a Mother, and when I eventually do, they're going to try and take the title away from me. Well fuck that, no way, they're not getting away with it" ... who 'they' are that she's referencing isn't clear, but I think deep down she knows who THEY are. The tide is turning finally!! 👏👏👏
While stomach-churning, this is an important read, and I am grateful you have put it together for all of us to share with others.